Drinking and Driving?

I gotta question? Totally hypothetical. Let's say I was driving down to my kickball game and I had a beer in a thermos, with a top on, that was covered and kinda enclosed and you could only drink out of it while pushing a button, which I did while driving. And it was my first drink, so I was hardly drunk. Is that illegal? Cause it wasn't an open container and I wasn't drunk and the beer was not in a bottle. So does that qualify as "open intoxication"? Cause I wasn't drunk. I was actually only sipping on the thing til I got to the game. Does that qualify?

Is it that you can't drink in the car while driving or that you can't be drunk while driving, cause I was clearly not drunk. I just happened to be driving with one beer in a thermos.

That's all.

Remembering 9/11

Who could forget where they were and what they were doing when the 9/11 events unfolded.

I was a college senior, getting ready for work when the first plane hit. Totally oblivious to the news, I actually had my TV on one of those morning shows but had the sound on mute while I had my stereo going. I remember seeing a tower on fire but assumed people were evaluating and everything would be fine. I had no idea what was going on.

I get out the shower and see they are still showing this fire and I'm actually thinking, fire, evacuation, big deal. Then while I'm brushing my hair I see a plane out of the corner of the screen come of of nowhere and strike the building and explode. But I'm so lost I'm thinking that plane (which was the 2nd) was hitting the building that appeared to be to fire (which was the first tower struck). I finally turn down the music and turn up the TV. It's pandemonium. I'm confused, how could a plane just hit a very large building like that. I run into the living room where my father was glued to the TV and ask him what was going on. And he was the first to say "It's a terrorist attack". I'm still lost and really not grasping the magnitude of what's happening but I soon start to realize this is big. Two planes have hit two buildings! Crazy! I finish getting dressed and am about to leave when the news reporter's are questioning whether the towers could collapse. But they dismiss that, stating those are sound buildings and I leave for work still believing that most people have gotten out and that this will be over soon.

But its all over the radio and there is already talk of the large amounts of people trapped and unable to escape.

I get to my mall job and soon as I get there my co-worker tells me tower one has collapsed. What! I'm thinking how the hell does a building just collapse. And because I didn't actually see in on TV yet, I assumed it went down horizontally like a log. I'm terrified for the people outside and around it, still not grasping that there still was many people still inside. I'm stupefied. My co-workers scramble around trying to open the store but also listen out on the radio for more news. We hear there are more planes hijacked and soon airports everywhere start shutting down. Everything starts shutting down. I try and help the few customers that came into the store while listening for news. The Pentagon is hit. There's a 4th plane. People are buzzing that that plane would get shot down. Then the rumors start, Baltimore City is shutting down. The metro is shitting down. They're closing 695 and 83 and all major roads. I don't know what to believe but I'm still staying calm since I don't know the facts. Then the mall security came running by, shouting and brought the first wave of panic through me. he yelled "The mall is closing! The mall is closing!" And I then began to panic. They never closed the mall.

Everybody shut down and flocked to their cars and hit the roads where it seemed the entire county was trying to get home themselves. I remember stepping out in the warm September sunshine and remarked how beautiful and sunny it was and how it felt like a whole day had gone by when at this point it was only about 11am. I drove home worried about my mom who took the metro home and waiting for her with my father. She did get home fine and we sat in front of the TV and watched the news the rest of the day. I then got to see all the footage I'd missed earlier. Of the planes striking both towers, of the bystanders, of the people jumping, the towers then crumbling one by one and people everywhere running for cover. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever saw. Two gigantic towers collapsing into nothing. I couldn't believe my eyes. Who could.

I stayed glued to the news that night for weeks and weeks on, hoping that more people would be pulled from the rubble. They were very few. My niece who must have been in middle school called on on 9/11 after schools were dismissed and said her teacher told her that we were witnessing history in the making and she didn't understand what that meant. I just told her that we'd be talking about this and remembering this day for a long, long time; that what we'd just witnessed would become a major part of American history and that none of us will forget where we were or what we were doing on that day.

Six months later, my father and I watched the documentary by two French brothers who were in the tower when it collapsed and had incredible footage of the collapse from the inside. It was one of the most poignant films I'd ever seen and I highly, highly recommend it.

Then on the one-year anniversary, I had off from work and I laid on the couch watching news coverage and listened to them call out every name of every victim lost. It wasn't much but a small thing I could do to help remember them.

Kathy Griffin: My Hero of the Day

Ha ha ha! This one made my morning.

At some creative arts Emmy's ceremony, Kathy Griffin won an award for her show Life on the D-List (funny show) and she did what no one has done before and that which I've always wanted to do just to smite people: in giving her thanks she remarked that Jesus Christ had nothing to do with her getting the award. Fucking hilarious!

Her actual quote:

"...a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."

Damn her for stealing my idea but kudos for doing it, even though the networks are going to censor it for its telecast this weekend claiming its offensive. Whatever! And how the hell is that more offensive than Sarah Silverman (who sucked!) saying that both Britney's kids were "mistakes" during her opening monologue on the VMAs Sunday night? I think taking pot shots at innocent children is way worse than not giving undue credit to someone who hasn't exactly been without his share of accolades.

Oh and I have to add that the Emmy for Best Song also went to SNL's famed "Dick in a Box" short but the Catholic League doesn't appear to have any problem with that. PPfffffffffff, whatever!!

I love Kathy Griffin. I'll buy her a drink in hell!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/11/tv.emmys.griffin.ap/index.html

Can Britney Make A Comeback?

Uhh, judging by her weak performance opening for the VMA tonight, I'm going to have to go with a big fat no.

I cannot even believe that I stopped what I was doing at 9pm to check out her big promoted opening act. It was disappointing. This is the same chick who has been known to totally steal the show with duets with Madonna, slinking around with a snake on her neck, stripping down to a close to nude ensemble showcasing a rock hard body and just really giving her all. Tonight, however, it was obvious she was not really giving us what she used to.

1) She lip synced. Sure she's done it before, but this time, I don't even think she had a real headset on. She didn't even attempt a live note.

2) I applaud her for getting her body in shape after 2 babies, but I honestly think it it wasn't toned enough to be as half naked as she was. We're used to seeing Britney's defined abs. I found it kinda embarrassing for her to be in such a revealing outfit and looking a lot less cut. Her dancers looked better. Poor wardrobe choice.

3) The hair looked awful. We know her hair is very short due to her shaving it but those extensions were horrid and too obvious. This chick is banking $750K a month and the best her stylist could come up with were these yellow blond tracks and stripper gear. She could have paid me $1000 and I'd have done a better weave. She should talk to Beyonce's people.

4) What happened to the choreography. I'm not a fan of her music but Britney has always been a great dance in my book, normally hitting all her dance steps but there were several times she seemed unbalanced in her high heel boots and overall lacked the prowess she usually has dancing. It was like she wasn't really into and and had missed some rehearsals.

5) The music, I'm sorry, it sucked. I can't even remember the hook but it was lame. In fact, I hated it. I don't know who produced it but its weak. And its opening line "Its Britney, bitch." What is wrong with her? This is a mother of 2 babies. Why try so hard to be this sex-crazed, bad ass? Why would you even present yourself in a way there would be inappropriate to your children? It's time to get past that, really.

Overall, all I saw was a stage full of dancers on poles looking like strippers and a confused Britney Spears faking vocals and trying to keep up with what dance moves she remembered over the lamest techno-dance track. It was poor.

And I'm disappointed. A comeback? She would seriously have to step it up a whole helluva lot better than that. Either that or focus on raising her boys.

Pick one.

Dream Men of the Moment

Totally biting off my friend Eclectik Relaxation's blog where he always posts his favorite beautiful women. I've decided to honor my own collection of hottie men I desire to share and also to look at whenever I want to. And that list will vary depending on my mood but here are my main men.

David Beckham

Why? Well just look at him. I usually do not go for blondes but he is like perfection personified. The face alone sold me. He had that square jawline, intense eyes and prefect features that only an artist 2nd in line with nature could perfect.

Lenny Kravitz

Why? He is just absolutely beautiful and bonus for being a black man that plays rock music. He has everything, musical talent, cool hair, beautiful features as well as a rock hard butt, abs, arms, caramel skin and style. That's hot!

Julian McMahon


Why? As the star of Nip/Tuck, he is worth tuning in every week just to see his kinky sex scenes and (kudos to FX for showing some bare ass on basic cable). He portrays a classic bad boy. And he could ____ my _____ anytime he wanted to. You fill in those blanks.

Common

Why? Style, man! He is all about style! Seriously, his look is the hottest right now. That polished gentleman's dress mixed with his flair and relationship lyrics. Add on to that his smooth caramel skin, freckles, lips and the swagger in her voice. Oooh yeah! His style alone is much appreciated. I see fellows trying to imitate, I say keep it up. We women are noticing. He's like serious long-term, relationship material.

Matthew McNaughhey

Why? Why? He's fine! Again, not a blonde fan but I am a fan of nice butts, abs, legs, thighs, tanned, glistening skin and he's got that wild, cowboy thing going on, like he would just grab your ass and saddle you up and have you riding high like your on a mechanical bull and ....(ok going too far). Strictly, short-term, purely sexual fun and games material.

John Legend


Why? This one is simple, he sings pretty, reminicent of Stevie Wonder, plays the piano, has pretty bubblin brown sugar skin and sings lovely songs about love. I keep hearing, though, that he might be gay but Ihavne't found any concrete eveidence of this yet. Regardless, he is adorable.

Adam Levine

Why? Same reasons as John, sings like Stevie (I'm a sucker for a soulful singer), is cute as all hell and well, that's it. Cutiepie! I'd have his baby and hope it comes out singing!

Mos Def


Why? I really can't even pinpoint why. It's just something about him. When I saw him acting in some film, he just stayed with me. It's like he has a perfect mix of street knowledge and cred mixed with real intellectual smarts. Like he could be the broke, mofo 'round the corner or the executive on the board room. Then rap on top of that. I dig that. And he aint bad looking either. Most definitely!

John Cusack


Why? He just has this everyday, every man, totally down to earth attainability like I could get a guy as lovable as he portrays himself on screen. Lots of his characters are vulnerable, lovelorn and totally sweet. I seriously would marry a guy like him. Dark hair, intense eyes, sensitive, adorable. He's the type of guy you want to give your heart to and make him happy.

Hill Harper

Why? Well this one is simple. If you've ever heard the saying that people tend to choose people that look like them, he is my perfect match! We look just a like! Brown-skin, little nose, heart-shaped mouth. He is suppose to be with me genetically so we can have gogeous brown babies together! Look at him! He is my ultimate match!

And finally, Marvin Gaye

So yeah, he's no longer living but still one of the finest and most talented men ever. I remember hearing Let's Get it On when I was a child and thinking 'that man is kinda sexy'. I like to think I owe my life to this man as I believe my parents got together dancing to Got to Give It Up at the club they met and danced to his music throughout their courtship. But forget all that, he is just the best soul and R&B singer and all his stuff is so classic. Talented. Troubled but damn sexy.

Ick! Dumb Fuckery on Myspace

I have bitched about this on my defunct Myspace blog and now I'm going to bitch about it here.

I seriously can't get over the riff raff trash that writes me on there trying to befriend me with their lame-ass lines, ghetto-tastic profiles and just nasty, senseless messages. I would just make my profile private but I don't want to close the door on potentials that actually have some sense and I have met some really cool peeps on there.

So I'm going to air out my greivances right here and now and hope they all read it cause they know who they are.

If you are on Myspace and:

• you are 40 years old, you are too old to be browsing profiles on Myspace.


• you write me using broken English, ebonics and other hood colloquialisms, your messages will be automatically deleted. Turn ons for me are complete thoughts, sentences and proper punctuation.


• you send me a vague hello without a picture and an incomplete profile, I will not write back. Why should I take the time to write a nameless, faceless, interest-less, anonymous person with no background info? Why should I care?


• your profile is rank with big booty girls and half naked chicks, I DON'T want to be associated with you nor do I want to know anything more about you. And never will I want to be added to your collection.


• you call me "ma", "sweetie", "baby", "boo" or "cutie", the message will be trashed. You don't know me and I don't appreciate being acknowledged like that. It's young. Grow up!


• you claim to make over $100k, while being pictured standing in front of a Hyundai (or Kia or Chevy or Dodge). I'm not some 19 year old looking for a sugar Daddy, I don't believe a word of it AND I couldn't care less. Unimpressed.


• you have nothing but poor pictures of yourself using your cell phone camera (which takes awful pics). They look horrible. Make you look uglier and does not sweeten the deal to get to know you. WORSE is if these pics are taken in the bathroom with no shirt on. I have NEVER seen a guy (muscle-bound or not) look good this way. It makes you look cheap, silly, dirty and trifling. Invest in a digital camera and recruit a good friend to snap some decent shots. Put effort into how you present yourself, especially to strangers.


• you write me vividly describing what you want to do to me sexually, you will be BLOCKED and I will never accept a message from you again. If you believe this is appropriate or appealing you obviously dont know me and NEVER WILL!


• you write me to try and hook up with one of my friends, FUCK OFF! And yes, I will warn them in advance about you.


• your profile covers the gamut of pimp and gangsta imagery; butt naked booty skanks, money, rims, pimped-out cars, loud, southern rap music blaring and the like, we're not going to have anything in common. Don't expect a response.

• you fancy yourself as a novice photographer, videographer, writer, producer, director or manager and your profile and/or work looks like shit, I won't want to work with you.


• you send me unsolicited photos or your penis or other body parts, I will save it to my computer and submit the pics to various websites all other the net. You'll get your 15 minutes of fame.

That should cover it for now. I'm sure I'll be updating this list when needed.

Proactiv, Rescuing Stars from "Acne"?

Ya know, everytime I see one of these daggone ads, they piss me off. Why? Come on, you know why. Cause they have these celebrities up there pitching this product and trying to act like they actually have acne, which they don't. They have the gall to show these 'before' pics of Jessica Simpson, Vanessa Williams and Kelly Clarkson with what looks like the tiniest, little, itty bitty bump on the corner of their chin that they had to zoom in several times to even see and they're trying to pass that off as acne! That is NOT acne! Its a tiny bump, that's all. I seriously hate when advertisers exaggerate things to make a point.

Wack!

Is Baltimore Stepping Up?

I keep hearing from people that Baltimore is "rebuilding ", trying to "step it up", is growing and "getting better". And I roll my eyes and suck my teeth cause I'll believe it when I see it, right?

So Labor Day weekend rolls around and I was trying to find some hot spots to do dancing. I get an email from my usual favorite dance spot about a party going on Sunday night. I email the promoter back (who will remain nameless) to ask about the cover, since it wasn't posted. Mind you, this club I used to get into for free before 10pm not but a year prior. After that, it was $10. I wanted to spit out my coffee when he replied and told me the cover, all night was now $20. $20! To get into a club? In Baltimore? The same one I've frequently for years! Oh, I was hot. The last time I spent that on cover charge, my butt was in Miami! Umm, who do they think they are charging $20 for a club whose dancefloor hasn't gotten any bigger and I'm sure whose clientele (by that, I mean the men) aren't any better either? This is not DC! Then he had the nerve to add that $20 is the going rate for any "quality entertainment" that night in town.

Pffff!

Well, my friend and I decided to hit 2 other parties that offered free covers for ladies before 11:30pm and you could circulate between the two. As I was sitting at the bar ordering the biggest alcoholic drink I'd heard of, we then noticed the other ladies trickling in and couldn't help but notice all the hoochie-fied, short, short skirts, long, waist-long weaves and 5-inch stripper heels sauntering in. I mean, you'd have thought this was casting calls for video vixens. not saying they looked cute but they certainly were trying real hard. My friend judged by the way they were dressed and said it reminded her of South Beach. I thought for a 2nd. Then paid for my $10 drink and remembered, I also spent $10 the previous week on a Long Island ice tea. I never used to spend that kind of dough on mixed drinks before. I turned to my friend and asked 'Is is possible Baltimore really is trying to step it up? And be more like DC and Miami?' I even read online about a proposal to build a red line and a green line. And now that I think about it, I'm hearing more and more people talking about how Bmore is getting more and more expensive. Real estate, property taxes, everything has been going up even more.

Could it be? Is Baltimore really stepping up? I guess time will tell? Mine here, though, could be running out.

Let the Kickball Season Commence

So I joined a kickball league this fall and kickoff is this upcoming week. I just got our schedule and got a look at the other teams' names. They are hilarious and now I wish we had a more creative team name than Drunk Enough to Kick your Ass.

Here's some of our competition:

Menace II Sobriety

Baltimore Boozehounds
See You At Recess BITCHES

Negative Net Worth

Go Balls Deep

The Matzoh Ballers

Slow Children At Play

The Reverse Cowgirls

C.U.N.ex.T.hursday

Cameltoes

Federal Hills 21230

Oops I Crapped My Pants

We got the Runs

Milk Was A Bad Choice

The Pu-Tang Clan

Balls N Dolls
Hit It and Quit It

Fah Q

Multiple Scorgasms

Drunk Dial Us

Sponsored By Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor

Free Mustache Rides

Just Plain Drunk

A Burning Sensation

Watchyercrotches

I Promise I'll Pull Out

Tulips On Deez Balls

Where's Your Beer, Bitch?

Will Lose 4 Booze

Not hard to tell there will be lots of drinking on this league? Now I'm excited! They tell me that the usual is hitting happy hour before the games, then they bring coolers of beer to drink during the games. Then hit the bars afterwards for post-game celebrations. Sweet bastard this should be fun. Beer! Men! Big balls!

This is going to be the best sport I ever played!

Pheenin' For My Next Fix

You entered my system, like a viral infection
within my blood,
and I liked it.
I allowed it.
I devoured it.

Your kiss penetrated,
your words,
resonated,
like a sharp prick against my throbbing vein,
Euphoric,
my emotions,
spin upward and out of my control,
sending all types of chemicals to my brain.

My heart rate escalates,
my knees become weak,
my temperature rises,
I'd scream,
but I can't quite speak.

I close my eyes,
allowing reality to fade,
engaged,
feels as if time is in retrograde

Totally vulnerable,
I embrace you slipping inside,
while I enjoy the full extent,
of this magic carpet ride.

If its really good, I feel like I can fly
no lie,
yours must be the purest of all supply.

Suddenly, all my problems have gone away,
Magically, all my troubles have washed away,

I'm singing, I'm sailing,
I'm dancing, I'm wailing,
my eyes are glazed over,
I'm laughing out loud.
I'm larger than life,
walking on water,
I'm floating upwards toward the sky,
hovering dreamily,
I can touch the clouds.
Tonight, I am a queen,
until the high comes down
tomorrow; a pheen,
lost,
and wandering aimlessly around.

Trembling,
my skin's gone cold
shaking and twitching,
the buzz has grown old.

I find myself curled up in a ball,
up against the wall,
my stomach tied into knots,
I'm cold, then I'm hot
Moaning,
The emotional effects of withdrawal.

The aftermath aint easy,
Why'd you do this to me?

Soon, my whole body aches
hungover,
my extremities shake,
exhausted,
but I’m wide awake
regretful,
this is more than I can take.

The adrenaline subsides and dissipates
and I am left with,
the distance and isolation,
that my temporary highs create.

I'm parched,
I'm thirsty,
I'd trade up whatever I could give,
just to have two more hits.

Staring at the ceiling,
mental thoughts scattered in disarray,
yet on one item,
a feeling,
transfixed.

Crawling around disoriented,
in a haze of confusion,
I'm hungry,
no starving,
I'm searching
and craving
and pheenin'
for my next fix.

© 2007

Uh Oh! Blowjobs a No-No?

Ya know, with the rate things are going these days, I think there may actually come a time when you will have sex and upon climaxing, get up and drop dead. According to researchers, CNN reports that it may be possible now to develop oral cancers from oral sex from HPV-infected men. Now how would we know that a man is infected? Good question since there is currently no way to test men at this time. Sucks for us ladies huh (or maybe not)?

Guess that gives us a great excuse (for now) as to why we can't go down there. Um, dude, cancer!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/08/28/hm.cancer.warts.reut/index.html

"Keep Smiling"...Why?

Why is it, that nearly every new message I get from some random guy from the internet, signs their messages with the phrase "keep smiling"? Is that the new thing now? Is it suppose to leave me smiling to myself and thinking about him? Or thinking 'awww, he's so sweet', he must like my smile? Are all these guys who've written me, friends of some sort and one has basically copied off the next when writing strange women online for lack of creativity? Am I suppose to feel enlightened by his percieved positivity? Am I suppose to automatically smile after reading it?

First, am I smiling to begin with? Do I look like the type of person that likes to walk around cheesing all day? Do I need to smile, cause personally, I'm happy with my usual demeanor. Can't I just be? Oh, that's right. I can.

"Keep smiling?" Who cares??? Course it never bothers me when they sign it 'stay beautiful', cause well...that actually makes sense.

The South Beach Vacation

After a year of talk, me and the girls finally made it down to South Beach in Miami, and seriously, I did not want to leave. We stayed at this adorably cute spot right on the beach and lounged and ate and shopped and chit-chat and ate some more the whole time.

Unlike Ocean City, MD, the water was actually turquoise and see-through beautiful. And felt like it was 75 degrees. And the men! Whoooo, child! I never saw so many fine ass men in my entire life. Every one of them it seemed was jogging and frollicking around the beach with apple butts and cut abs and firm thighs and tanned arms. Matter of fact, everybody there was tanned including me, getting nice and crispy dark.

But I loved it! It was hot and sunny everyday. We were in walking distance of everything you can eat, buy or lounge on there was so much activity everywhere.

So I began thinking, I should move here! The weather is hot, there's lots to do, plenty of hot men, bars, partying, young people, I can walk around half naked, what's the minus? But I got a bit discourage when I asked a friend about the dating scene and she replied that it was mainly "white and shallow". So me and the girls went to the club Mansion to check out the scene and despite the long line waiting behind a velvet rope, I found it rather tame and the women there had nothing on me. The music was their downfall (it was mainly techno and no Bmore club of course) with only one small room dedicated to "urban" music fans. I was unimpressed but no longer intimidated. Though I take note that there weren't enough nappyheads walking around.

Perhaps that will change.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Baltimore

Ask anyone whose spent any amount of time with me (particularly traveling or leaving my hometown) and they've probably picked up on my almost utter contempt of the city of Baltimore; where I was born and raised. And alas, parts of that is true. There are certain aspect of the city that I have truly grown to hate and that which, I'd love to pack it up all and move the hell away from. People often ask me (ok, my family who'd never want me to leave) what is so wrong with Baltimore? Why would you want to leave? What's the big deal?

Good questions. Ok, let's see where to start.

The Schools
Having grown up and within the Baltimore City public schools, I can safely and easily say we have some of The Worst schools I have ever heard of. Misappropriated funds. Rampant under achieverism. Buildings literally falling apart. Tired, worn out underpaid teachers, outdated books, lack of supplies, lack of college-bound prep, violence, teen pregnancy, gangs, drugs, lack of after-school programs and access to tutoring. Where do I stop. I clearly remember having to use razor blades to cut up a project while in class because we weren't supplied with scissors, having textbooks from the 1960's that we couldn't take home because there weren't enough of them, not really ever having homework in high school (which did not help my transition into college any easier), sitting in a class half full of knocked-up, teen parents (a few on their 2nd childs), NO SAT prep offered (at my school anyway) and from what I heard over half never complete college. No surprise there since most of us were passed through below standards. Sure, I finished college and went on to graduate school, but I'm the minority there. And while I'm proud of that achievement, I still would never allow a child of mine to go through city schools.

Transportation

I seriously never had a problem with transportation since I was a driver and never really had to consider it until the recent gas hikes and I began taking public transpo. I'm lucky. I live near a subway station and not far from the Light Rail, but if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to really get anywhere without taking 45 mins. I don't even know how someone on the eastside, without a car would get downtown since the metro does not even run on their end. Not until I'd spent some time in DC, New York and Boston and used their subway systems did I realize just how young and lacking ours is. A car is a must in this city.

Nightlife

What nightlife? Unless you frequent (and like) ghetto establishments such as Club One, Xanadu (formerly Club X), or can deal with Powerplants Mosiac and its sloppy, drunken club goers, Baltimore has little to offer in nightclubs or dancing. I can't even think of one really nice spot to go dancing besides Red Maple on Sundays only. We have few really nice places which have good music, decent people, chill atmospheres and where you'd actually go back the next week. I don't know of any other city that is basically dead on Friday and Saturday nights. The assumption is that everyone is now going to DC. That's wack. We should have out own. And much kudos to the club promoters I know that try every week to bring people up, but it seems like the entire atmosphere needs an overhaul. People come up from out of town and are embarrassed for us.

The Dating Scene

Now this is gonna sound harsh, but I've said it verbally and I'm gonna write it right here. Cause somebody has to. The dating scene here abso-freaking-lutely sucks! The main problem (for females anyway, can't speak for the men) is the complete lack of eligible men to date. I'd say that 93.7% of the men here are plug & butt-ugly, then out of the rest, you'd be lucky to find a guy that is actually looking for something other than a friend-with-benefits type relationship, a fuck buddy or some other variation of a non-committed-type, ass option for their pleasure and convenience, under the age of 45. It seems the men here are in no hurry to make any sort of commitment to any women, even in their upper 30's and because they have the extra advantage of being a man (cause let's face it, they seems to be no shortage of eligible woman everywhere), they can pick and choose and repeatedly throw away whatever they become bored with and move on to the next. There, I said it. And what!

Crime

Well, we all have heard that Bmore is one of the top 5 most dangerous cities in the nation and blah, blah, blah. Well, it is! We've already surpassed last year's homicide rate, at a climbing 190-something, up 30 more bodies from last year and I think every time I turn on the news, someone else was shot up the night before and more bullet-ridden bodies were found on some block, on somebodies side of town. I think we are so used to hearing of so murders that we don't even blink when we her them anymore. My first thought is 'what street this time'. For one thing, I know we have a shortage of police officers but second, we seem to have a host of corruption within the force. The numbers (and bodies speak for themselves)

Murder rate: http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=13972

Map of bodies found: http://www.citypaper.com/news/murdermap.asp?year=2007

Ghetto Mentality

My biggest pet peeve of all with this city, would have to be that fact that ghetto mentality (a phrase my beloved father coined), runs rampant here! Too many people here would rather try there best trying to keep up with the stars they see on BET and in broke down rap videos, than to really educate themselves, rise up and get out of poverty and into an improved economic situation. Its always sad to see a 40 year old trying

Ok, yeah, I sound like a real hater.

BUT I have to add that as much as Baltimore sucks in my mind, it is still my place of birth, where all my family resides and where I call home. So there are things that I definitely miss and appreciate when I'm away.

Baltimore Club Music

There is nothing like Bmore club to me! Call me what you want but I LOVE me some Bmore club. No other club music compares in my mind to the "8/4 beat structure" of true Baltimore club music. No to be confused with house or techno, there is no other music quite like it. And if you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry, I can't even begin to define it, But if you see me stop what I'm doing and pop off one of my shoulder/hip/elbow maneuvers, Bmore club must be playing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore_club

Affordability

Bmore is a very affordable town. I live very comfortably, with a very low rent. You can still get drinks for under $5 (sometimes $2). Real estate, though climbing is not as ridiculous as other cities and the overall cost of living here is reasonable.

Culture

Though this is a predominately black city (64%), there is still lots of cultural backgrounds here 9even though they may be in different neighborhoods). Latinos, Carribbeans, Jewish, Russians, Trinis. We have a good mix. Not to mention the oddball homeless we have. On any given day you can find some smelly schizophrenic downtown singing Marvin Gaye unsolicited but beautifully on key. OR you might catch some crazy exposing himself to innocent bystanders leaving an O's game. That's real!

Its Home!
Most importantly, no matter where I go (and I hope I go somewhere else soon) Baltimore will always be my home and its where allmy family and friends are. Most of the time when I leave for whatever reason, I am so relieved to walk through BWI and see those "fear the Turtle" billboards for U. of Maryland and get in my car, hit 695 and head toward Reisterstown Rd. I am tickled to be back to where things are famaliar and cozy to me.

The Beyonce Experience

So last night I had the pleasure of checking out Beyonce's The Beyonce Experience show and OMG! It was seriously THE BEST concert I have every been to. Soon as she hit the stage with Crazy in Love, every body was up on their feet, booty-dancing and singing right along with her.

But I have to say, I don't care what people say about her, the chick has mad talent. She performed for a full 2 hours with only brief 5 minute breaks in between dancing and gyrating to every beat, not missing a single step and still had the breath to then blow us out away with her powerful voice. She did not miss one melisma-laden note. The chick was popping that booty to up-tempo songs like Jumpin, Jumpin and Baby Boy, then she'd slow down and belt out Listen or Dangerously In Love and rocked it! She sounds exactly as she does on the tracks. She sounded amazing!

She did some Destiny's Child stuff, as well as some interlude of Jill Scott's He Loves me and Gnarl's Barkley's Crazy and even incorporated mixes of the Pink Panther theme and the Cellblock Tango from the musical Chicago before she came back out to do Ring the Alarm in a long red fireman's style coat. And I have to admit, I felt particularly inspired when she began singing Survivor and Me, Myself and I, two of her female-empowering anthems.

And she was absolutely beautiful. She was rocking this super long, super wavy, loose curled hair that she flung around so many damn times, you'd think she'd get whiplash, but no, it all stayed on and nothing came out and no, she did not fall at all that night. The abs were tight and I swear you couldn't even tell she was sweating (and it was hot as a mofo in there). Backed up by an all-female band and some cut male dancers who I did not mind watching grind and hump the stage floor at times, the entire show ensemble rocked. An when she got around to singing Irreplaceable, there wasn't a person in there who didn't have both hands raised and pointing "to the left, to the left", male or female and singing word for word. I seriously did not want the show to end. But she ended it by singing Happy Birthday to any 'B-day' peeps in the audience and throwing a sweat-soaked towel to one girl who couldn't stop crying.

I walked back to the subway pumped up and ready to go dancing and wondering why I didn't take the morning off. Nevertheless, The Beyonce Experience? Indeed!

What is Park Heights?

Outside of B-More, you probably have never heard of the Park Heights community in northwest Baltimore. Well, its where I was born and raised and pretty much still love near.

Park Heights is a long main street that basically runs from the more hoodish areas below Northern Parkway (where I grew up), and houses more lower-income blacks, Caribeans and other immigrants, then runs into a middle-class section of blacks, Russians, and Latinos (where I currently reside), then goes even further into it gets into the more affluent section of custom-built and million dollar homes on large acres of land (that I'm assuming are mostly whites).

I grew up below Belvedere Ave, near Pimlico Race Course (I could hear the announcer from my bedroom window) but moved further up with my family in the middle of my teens. But despite Park Heights' negative reputation for high crime and drup violence, I'm happy to say I had a very happy childhood but parents who sheltered me from what was going on around me. I was never what you call disadvantaged.

I'm not at all ashamed to admit I grew up in what some would percieve as such a poor area because I like to believe I beat the odds and am proof that your external environment doesn't necessarily have to dictate your ultimate fate, especially when there are two good parents there showing you that you can and will do better.

So that's where I'm from. And not to get all Jenny From the Block on you, but no matter how far I go (and I plan on going far), inside I'm still that little, pony-tailed, brown-skinned girl from Park Heights.

Park Heights

Little paws on my pillow.

Happiness this morning for me was waking up to little, white paws, right next to me on my pillow.



Unhappiness for me this morning was having that same adorable kitten puke up her breakfast on my open-toed sandals.

Damn Vandals!

To the Baltimore thugs who knocked out my window....

.....thanks for not stealing my Ipod!

Went Downeeocean, hon!

Finally, got my black, Baltimorean ass down Ocean city for the first time in my almost 30 years. It was okay. The best part was laying by the beach, listening to the water and nodding off in the direct sunlight (I love the sun). The worst was the 3 hour drive and making it over the scary Bay Bridge. But it was a nice getaway.

Ghetto Is as Ghetto Does

(Repost from Myspace June 2007)

So I worked a promo last night and was badly in need of a drink after a long, taxing day. I was in Towson and decided to stop on through to my buddy Impulse's new club gig for a drink before I headed home. Well, I hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning (it was 10:30pm) so I decided to stop into Cluck-U Chicken for some quick wings before I got my beer on.

So I go and get a small thing of chicken wings, eat a few then decide to head to the club. But I wasn't finished my wings and sho' wasn't going to throw them away after I spent my hard-earned cash and knowing I could be munchin on them later. So I did what any other economic chick would do: I folded them neatly into the container (dipping sauce and all) and put them in my purse.

So I head to the B Lounge, get a Guinness and was chillin. I run into my friend TJ and mention how I stopped for some chicken and he mentions how good that sounds. I contend and wonder out loud if this club (which was a sushi restaurant by day) would mind if I bust out my chicken and finish my meal. TJ says go ahead, they won't care. I laugh thinking that is so ghetto. But hell with it. So I pull out my container and sauce and there I sat drinking a beer and eating chicken I had stored in my purse.

And it was good. Just goes to show, you can take the girl outta Park Heights but you can't take the Park Heights outta the girl!

P.S. And I ate the last peice of chicken this morning for breakfast. Yes I did!