Thankful

I'm tired. Woke up at 3am with a mulling headache, barely slept and had to drag my ass into work an hour early. I'm stressed, annoyed, agitated and all I wanna do is crawl back into bed with a kitty cat sleeping next to me.

BUT! I need to take a moment to count my blessings and give my thanks. Cause no matter how crappy things can feel at times, I know there are blessings. I just need to remind myself sometimes.

And 2008 has been wonderful to me. This year, I am grateful for:

• my health- not a sniffle, ache or cough has held me back. I am strong, healthy and able-bodied.


• my new job- its been a struggle at times, but I feel fortunate to have found a job during something I really like, with great pay, benefits and location.


• to be debt-free- felt SO good to pay off my credit card adn Rio-related fees this year and put those cards away. If I don't have the cash, then I don't need it.


• financial security- many aren't so lucky in these times. I'm especially blessed to have the freedom to plan a Hawaiian wedding, look into buying a house and support a family. BONUS: finding out I have excellent credit!


• my adorable kitty cats, that bring me joy and laughter everyday.


• fun and supportive friends- who else would I get my drank on with, swivel my hips on the dancefloor with or talk some ish with. 3 years ago, I barely had a social life, now I have a great circle of friends and comrades, including my bestest homegirl, Rebecca.


• finally finding an easy and cute hairstyle that suits me instead of trying to make my locks do something they can't.


• my family, who has become more supportive and encouraging of me over the last few years.


• my fiance, who has quickly become more to me than just a lover and a companion but also a best friend.


• and lastly for my father, ALWAYS, for showing me the love, support and guidance that will stay with me for a lifetime. Though its been nearly 5 years since his passing, never have I forgotten his advice, his words, his thoughts, his essence. His presence in my life for 25 years has remained one of my biggest blessings.

The Dream of Homeownership

So I made the decision over the summer to explore the very real possibility of buying my own home within the year since I feel more than ready but also because housing prices are at their lowest and its seems like a great opportunity for me. But being ready and eager and finding something you love and within your price range is already proving to be a real challenge. And I'm not even that picky, I think my wants are simple. I just need:

1. an easy commute- or specifically nothing worse than my commute to work right now which is 25-40 minutes (depending on season and time of year). I'm lucky right now cause I'm close to the metro and I take 83 down which has been pretty easy lately (usually under 30 mins.)



2. 2-3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths- obviously, I'm not looking for another bachelorette pad but a place I can raise a family or bring my first child (which is NOT on the way) home to. I'm looking for someplace I can comfortable be in for the next 5 +years.



3. Family-oriented community- piggy-banking off #2, it has to be an area I'm comfortable raising a child in, that means good schools (which are hard to come by in the city). I don't want to be near the bar scene, high crime, high traffic or noise. I want to be able to sleep soundly at night without honking horns and people constantly coming in and out.



4. multiple-levels- I need more than a single story, to accomodate myself + 1 and all the damn pets and kids we may (will) acquire.

Pretty simple right? So what are the obstacles?

• finding all this within my limited price range. I refuse to become a foreclosure story so I'm choosing to buy beneath my means. But naturally that makes it that much harder to find.


• finding it within a time span in which I won't have to break my lease (I got a wedding to plan now)


• finding one with my price range that isn't a total shithole.

Add to that all the contradicting advice I've been getting: its a bad time to buy... its a good time to buy...you should get a condo...you should get a townhouse... you should rent for 2 more years, renting a house during this foreclosure season is a mess, etc.

It's enough to make my head spin. Luckily however, I feel I know what is best for me in my life right now. At nearly 31 years old, I don't see much reason to put this off for more years and especially since I plan on starting a family. I just need to get there. And I'm ready. I am pre-approved, have the 10-15% down payment, the income and the extra cash for renovations. I'll get there.

I just need to hang in there, keep saving and keep doing all my research,

The Perpetually Single Girl is Off the Market?

Indeed. And with all the hints that were dropped leading up to it, I was still very much shocked.

Here's the short version. Saturday night (or Sunday morning 11/2, one year and one month from our frist date) midnight, I'm lounging around in my South Beach booty shorts and dingy Bailey's tee covered in cat hair, not caring that my man is on the way cause its going on midnight and he's about a hour later than I'd like him to be. I got an attitude. I was hoping we could spend more time together before I got tired and here it was, not going to happen. I opened the door for him and didn't even greet him with a kiss. I was equally cold as I sucked down the bottle of port he brought over and inhaled the cheese we began to eat and he cooly made conversation. Being the occasional brat I can be, I wasn't enthused.

We're lying lazily on the couch watching SNL when he makes a comment about how so many people are getting engaged these days. I scoff it off. Who cares? That's me, right? He then asks me to look in his night bag for a green peice of paper and read it. I'm like why? right now? Can you get it for me? No, he insists. I have to get it and read it myself. I pick my lazy ass up and get the paper and flop back on the couch. I open it and read the first line.... Dear Mr. (my last name). He stops me and tells me to read the front to see who its addressed to. The letter is addressed to my father, who passed in 2004.

I turn it over where my boyfriend has written an eloquent and sincere handwritten letter to my father, beginning with that though they haven't met, one of the things they share in common is a love for me. He mentions briefly how we met the year prior and what an "amazing woman" he's raised. He then goes on to write about how he promises to show me unconditional love, to protect and watch over "his little girl" and how he promises to be a "wonderful husband" to me.

He closed the letter by asking my father permission for my hand in marriage. When I put down the letter, there was a ring box in front of me. My mind isn't processing what is in front of me. He'd said many, many times that he wanted to marry me but I couldn't get that this was it, this is him proposing. He then said something very sweet and asked would I marry him and my response:

OMG! Are you serious??? What? Are you crazy? No, for real? OMG! Are you serious! You're crazy! What!

I honestly just had it in my mind that this moment was years away (if ever) and that it wasn't happening now. I could not believe any of it. But he assured me that this was the real deal and happening right now. And of course, I said yes!

And it seriously took all night and most of the next day to hit me. I'd been single for so long and had grown so jaded that I simply stopped dreaming of finding love and wouldn't allow myself to fantasize about such things cause I never wanted to get my hopes up again. I'd long already accepted that love and marriage may not happen so much that I couldn't believe the proposal even when it was happening. But he made me a believer. Before our very first date, he told me to never lower my expectations and to always expect the best; aim high. He taught me that I didn't deserve anything less.

So what now? Wedding? Marriage? Honeymoon? In-laws? I can't even believe those words even apply to me, the once perpetually single girl and yet here I am talking about a destination wedding, with a rockk onmy finger and an adorably, loving fiance. Fiance, I can barely believe it!

And I feel like the luckiest girl around. And I know that my father would approve because I am soooo happy!

Yes, yes, YES!

Really? Is there anything else left to say? I nearly kept my eyes closed this whole election cause I just didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed again. But yesterday when I stood in line to cast my vote to Obama/Biden, I couldn't help but allow that glimmer of hope at the possibility of a
BIG FAT WIN!!!!!!!

So what's next? Let's CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!
And through 2009!!
Wooo-hooooo!!!!!

Final Word on This Election

I know I said I was sick of it and was ready for it to be over. And I am. But I woke up at 5:30am this morning despite having a nasty head cold and feeling muggy from Thera-Flu cause I began thinking of getting out early to hit the polls. And even though I had been sick the night before and even had a second thought about going out at all today, I felt this immense sense of pride and excitement when I pulled up at my voting place at 7:15am and saw a line all the way down the block. I felt so proud of my community for coming out for this.

Even funnier was when I got in line, round the corner, I began to feel overwhelmed, near tearing up at the prospect of Barack Obama being the first African American president. I never really thought this would happen and this soon and the excitement I felt made me feel very emotional.

And so I stood for an hour and a half with all the other folks, who couldn't wait to cast their votes and I put mine in.

I walked out at 9am and late for work but feeling really good.

We just have to win this one! We have to.

Obama all the way, baby!!!

Halloween Hangover

The next morning checklist:

• sleeping til noon- Check!
• finally getting up and walking like a cripple from dropping it like its hot- Check!
• dizzyness- Check!
• light-headedness- Check!
• not remembering highlights like getting on stage and cooing my theme song to a crowd of onlookers-Check!
• waking up with eyelash glue all over my face- Check!
• finding my wash cloth with pink makeup smeared all over it- Check!
• realizing that I peed in front of 3 other women- Check!
• waking up to a fantabulous guy who thought I was the fucking hotness the night before- Check!
  

Have to say it was a really good Halloween! My girls came up with the fabulous idea of going as the '80s cartoon band, Jem and the Holograms (cause we're truly, truly, truly outragous). I was Jem, my girl Cat was Shana and Morgan, Aja (sadly, we had no Kimber). And though we were a bit worried we'd look like drag queens or hookers, we were recognized by quite a few although while on stage for a costume contest, we were playfully referred to as Lil Kim and the Holograms and Jem and the Juicy Booties! Whatever, cause we rocked it! And Halloween is fast becoming one of my favorite holidays.