Tuesday, March 18, 2008

That's Wack, Mr. Beemer Man

Ok, I gotta another beef (what's new, right?)

I live in an apartment complex that pretty much caters to low-income families; its mainly Russian and Mexican immigrants with a mixed of a few black folks. Well some mofo (who happens to be black but I'm not going to focus on that at this time), has decided to buy himself a 5-Series BMW, that he proudly keeps gleaming clean and sparkling new. My issue? Why, if you can afford a 5-Series BMW (which looks to be at least the 2007 model) are you living here, with low-income families (and me)?

I don't understand it. If you can put out the money for a car like that, with shiny ridiculous rims, you'd think, you could afford a better place to live, like, um, I don't know, owning your own home. I'm going to assume that this man is trying to impress us (and everyone else) with his shiny vehicle by attempting to buy his status. But mofo, how much status are you gonna have driving that $44,000+ car to this little apartment complex?

I'd think that that money could be better spent investing in something. Like something that could appreciate in value over time, instead of depreciate. I could never quite grasp the idea of throwing large sums of money into a luxury car and then living in low-income housing. I mean his car note is not far behind his rent payment. But I guess that is a classic example of people who plan for the weekend, as opposed to people who plan for the next generation.

But you know what, ya'll, I don't know this man or his situation. It could be that he's actually living here cause he bought this car and couldn't afford to live anywhere else. Or maybe his wife put him out. Or maybe he lost his job and had to downgrade his place. I don't know. Its just something I notice some guys do and it plucks my nerves.

Meanwhile, he could get up out my parking spot.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

No Country For This City Girl

Lat summer I went to Ocean City with a good friend of mine and one evening, we visited a friend of hers who had a house in a part of town called Easton. Picture big, wide, open spaces, rolling acres of grass and land and houses so far apart, you could park a whole 'nother town in it between them. Well, we cooked out, which was nice but as the sun went down, I became increasingly uncomfortable and seriously wanted to head back. My friend, however, was loving the countryside and I was horrified when she said she could live out there. I was antsy to leave. Something about the wide open spaces really freaked me out.

In fact, anytime I get away from the city where the land is more open and spacious, and see rolling plains of grass, I feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

Well I finally remembered why. Playing around on You Tube, I found this TV intro:

No wonder, I've been so creeped out! I've had this implanted in my brain all this time. As a young child, this intro creeped me out so much I NEVER watched the show and turned it off soon as this came on. I think I subconsciously filed this in my little brain and that became my association with the countryside. Still creeps me out. In fact, I just watched that and I'm a bit unnerved right now.

Damn TV shows. Oh well, guess I'll stick to the good ol' familiar city atmosphere: riff raff, traffic, profanity, urban decay, anonymous mugs walking down the street...ahhh, that's home.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Dear Spammers...

I can always count on it. Every freaking day I could put money on the certainty that I will get some spam, worrying about whether I'm happy with my erections, claiming that I can "go longer", make my woman scream and beg for more or offering me a bigger, harder or better erections and 'go all night'.

So lets clear this up right now for the spammers out there:

No, I'm actually very happy with my erections!

No, I'm not at all worried about my size

No, I have no trouble going as long as I want to

And for the record, consider me well hung like a Zulu, South African horse on Viagra!

Thank you very much and I'd appreciate being taken off your small penis/weak erection/minute-man mailing list.

Hanging very low and swinging,

The Girl From Park Heights