Monday, September 24, 2007

I (stolen from Skinny Black Chick)

Because its Monday, I hate Myspace and I could use yet another mental break.

I am not: you typical black chick. I hate most new hip hop, don't praise your Jesus, nor do I carry lessons learned from mommo or grandmomma.
I hear: basslines before lyrics in most songs
I regret: ignoring years of red flags and making a man my entire world.
I care: constantlyimproving myself and my writing
I always: think of my father in making life decisions. I question whether that would make him proud.
I long to: fall deeply in love again and build a life with someone.
I feel alone: when I reach out and there's no one there and no one trying to be there.
I hide: well....not much. I pretty much put everything out there.
I sing: bluesy love songs, nearly everyday or whenever I'm inspired. And I do pretty well!
I dance: My ASS OFF! Or til I sweat as if is one of the few things in life that truly make me happy.
I write: because it is the easiest way to express my thoughts. It takes the burdens off my chest, organizes my thoughts and helps me express my inner most thoughts and desires.
I breathe: music. Without it I would curl up and die.
I play: with the thought of doing musical theater. Don't know how I'd get started but I'd love to do it if not be one time.
I miss: my Daddy. He was my soulmate in life.
I search: for peace of mind.
I say: too much and that's usually not enough.
I feel: full of anticipation, like I've only just begun.
I succeed(ed): by learning from my mistakes.
I fail(ed): at trying to make a relationship work with a man who did not and would not love me
I dream: of the happily ever after, big house, 3 rugrats, family vacations and retiring with my dearest near the water and ending cozy evenings together with a bottle of chianti. (ya know after the nightly, hot, sticky, Wild Kingdom monkey sex).
I sleep: in next to nothing with a kitty kat purring on my pilow
I wonder: if the big dream will ever happen
I worry: that I'll never be able to have a family the traditional way ie. with a husband
I have: abandonment issues; a fear of being left, discarded, pushed aside, thrown away and forgotten about
I give: too much of myself to unworthy, nonreciprocating people.
I fight: with my inner critic 24/7.
I am: a masterpiece of perfect imperfection. (per Skinny girl! Nice!)
I can’t: be intimate with someone without catching feelings, swim, or count well in my head.
I will: one day be a published writer, a mother, a homeowner, see Europe and Africa, perform on stage, sing for a crowd and direct a film.
I can: be a total child at time.
I would: be a real force to be reckoned with if I could break my habit of laziness and procrastination and get organized.
I might: adopt children one day. I always wanted a large family.
I like: holding and being held. Can never get enough of it.
I love: writing, gossping, dancing, drinking, sex, porn, cats, beer, guys with sideburns, cheese, citylife, flip-flops, sunshine and arched eyebrows.
I smile: when complimented.
I frown: when I am annoyed which makes up about 65% of my regular day
I read: lots of mindless stuff on dead bodies, serial killers, atheism, sociology, pop culture, black culture, dating and single girl life. Crap.

Too Old for Low Rise Jeans?

So I was feeling antsy and bored yesterday and the only anecdote was a spur-of-the-moment shopping spree and I came across these cute, low-rise jeans on sale in Wet Seal. As I pulled these size 3's up over my 36-inch hips and looked in the mirror, I had to ask myself, at what point am I getting too old for low-rise jeans where actual buttcrack will be showing if I bent over? 30? 32? 27? 40? If I develop a muffintop or a pot belly? Never? When they go out of style? After I have my 3 kids? When I'm too fat (that was a trick question, I'm never going to be fat). 50? Can I rock them til I die and defy trends (or will I just look like an old hussy?)

Seriously. I love low-rise jeans and how they make your hips and shape look but is there an age-limit on them? I'm started to become more conscious of this as I near 30. What about mini skirts? I know I own several that may be around 5-6 inches in length. Where is Stacy London, she would know. Cause I'm still pretty young and free-spirited but I know I'm getting old for the college slut look.

Or am I? Well, needless to say, I bought those jeans with the 3-inch zipper and I'm going to try and get my go out of them. If you should see me out with my buttcrack out and zipper down to my pubes, please don't snap a photo of me and submit it to Glamour's Fashion Don'ts. I already know and yes I'm trying your patience.

What ever happened to...

Monie Love

Monie's in the middle (where she at?) In the middle. Monie's in the middle (where that at?) In the middle. Monie's in the middle (where she at?) In the middle. Go Mo, Mo, where is she? Monie's in the middle.

I think we were introduced to her when she did Ladies First with Queen Latifah back in the very early '90's. I remember I made it my mission to learn every word to "Its a Shame (My Sister) cause she had that crazy flow of rapping at lightening speed. And I did learn every word. I thought she was a great female rapper.

Where she's at:

Apparently she's now a DJ in Philly, working the morning rush hour. She's also a single mother of three and is slated to do a comeback album. We'll see.

Craig Mack

I remember he was like the ooogliest rapper out at that time but every radio station (ok, 92Q) was cranking Flavor in Ya Ear like every 15 mins and every lil mofo in school had to know this one word for word. I specifically remember being in Reisterstown Road Plaza (when people used to hang there) with my best friend at the time, when a store started blaring this song and me and my friend stopped what we were doing and broke into a full on dance, right there in the middle of the mall. Good times.

His new flavor:

Apparently he left Bad Boy records in 1997 and did a new album with some Street Life records which I don't think anyboy has ever heard of and basicaly fell off the scene.

The rapper reappearred in 2002 on the remix of the G-Dep song "Special
Delivery" with P. Diddy, Keith
, and Ghostface Killah, which
can be found on the Bad Boy album We Invented the
Remix Vol. 1
. After starting his own imprint, named MackWorld Records,
released the single "Mack Tonight" b/w "Hip-Hop Life" in 2006. Plans for a third album,
tentatively titled The Affiliation, were announced, scheduled for release
sometime in 2007.

Chi Ali

The girls look so good, but their minds are not ready, I don't know, I rather talk to a woman, cause her mind is more steady, so here we go.

He was like 14 when his album dropped and was getting much play on the defunct Jukebox Network (anybody remember that?) But he was kinda cute with his wavy, lil head and his first single.


Looks like another tried to change the formula and fell off. Apparently with his follow-up album he went from cute and sweet, street and thug.

They featured Chi with a slightly more mature voice. Overall, the album's theme
is of a kid who is getting too big for his britches. He speaks of preferring to
date older women, gun
, and marijuana smoking, which at
the time seemed cute and laughable. It received mixed reviews for lyrics that
seemed uneven...

Then even worse, he became a thug:

Shockingly, the next time many would see Chi Ali was on the show America's Most Wanted in 2001 for the death of Sean Raymond, the brother of his then girlfriend. Chi evaded police for a number of weeks before his capture. Reports at the time indicated that the incident stemmed from the loss of $300 and an unknown number of CDs. Chi Ali is currently serving a 14 year sentence at Elmira Correctional Facility, in Elmira, NY.

So sad when that happens.

Special Ed the magnificent.

Another one of my early '90s, Jukebox network, heavily rotated video faves. This was my joint and is still apart of my old school hip hop jams mixes CDs.

Where is the magnificent now?

Looks like he tried. He put out a few more albums, which unfortunately went nowhere. But he does have a Myspace page (

Well, at least, he's not locked up.

Oaktown's 3 5 7

It's time to get ill, we got the pill...

Remember these stanky rappers? I remember dancing to their MC Hammer beats and raunchy, booty-shaking lyrics like I was stank myself. I wasn't, but it was fun. I remember when Juice Got 'em Crazy came out and we were rocking it in middle school.


Guess everything MC Hammer touched turned to sawdust cause their careers went too. Apparently they just disbanded. Oh well. Hopefully, they're not on welfare.


My best friend was in LOVE with them. She made me stop what I was doing one day to listen to the bass-line of Can't You See. Coming out, under Biggie's reign, they were tight, I had to admit and finally got into them. I remember there was the real pretty Keisha rocking the half-way bald look and making it look hot, then the Pam, the one we all assumed was a lesbo based on her mannerisms and depp voice and we couldn't quite see her with a dude though she tried and Kima, the not-so-quite cute one. Actually, she was kinda funny looking. Even with the long weaves.

What up?

Apparently they are back together and working on a new album. Keisha ass went and married Omar Epps (ok, then!) and I read that there will be a 4th member. We'll see.


I used to love me so them. I had every album and would be up in my room perfecting my rendition of Weak til my throat hurt. And how about their song Downtown. They had al us high school girls openly singing about a man going down (some of dreaming, some not). Funny looking, yeah but they had all the hits. Everything they put out was a big hit. I was mad when Coko, tall ass decided she was too good and went solo. Didn't go nowhere.


They are getting back together and have already started performing. And I'm happy to hear it! They were my girls! Youtube is suppose to have some recent clips.

Color Me Badd

I wanna sex you up!

Awwwww, yeah! That was the song. THE song, that after hearing it for the first time convinced me that I must lose my virginity and quick!!! I am not playing. I saw Bryan Abrams fine behind talking about "dooooooo meeeeeeee" on TV and bout lost my mind. Who cares about the other ones. He was the FINEST white man I'd ever seen in my life and whatever he said do, I did. I would. It's done. Even girls who'd never looked at white boys before (unlike me) were like dayy-yumm! I was ready to marry that man. Bryan, not the rest of them.

What now?

Mid-90's, they couldn't hang. What else is new? Epic records dropped them and they broke up. The curly-headed dude Sam, became a producer and married Tamyra Gray. Kevin (the token black) is doing gospel and Mark is doing insurance (uh what?). As for fine-ass Bryan, you should have seen my jaw drop when I saw his fat behind on the VH1 series Man Band, trying to assemble some sort of washed-up, former boy band group for reality TV. Damn! Were options that limited? Say it aint so. is.

Neneh Cherry

We always hang in a buffalo stance, we do the dive every time we dance...

Yep, she was one of those artists, I liked simply because she was pretty. She had pretty curly hair and a doll face and the song and video were peculiar so it stuck with me. I recall she was pregnant when she shot the video which shocked the hell outta me. Pregnant? Young? Unmarried? How did that happen? Seriously, I didn't know that happened when I was a kid.


Looks like she is still recording and touring around Europe.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

To Nappy or Not?

I've been thinking about it for the past few years. I am sick of relaxing, straightening and really, killing my hair. But I'm so used to it this way! I don't know if I could really go totally nappy and natural, yet I've come to the conclusion that I cannot continue to fry my hair with chemicals and curling irons for life as it continues to thin out and turn into nothing. I gotta do something. So I'd been toying around with the idea od goin more natural. Not totally, all out nappy, but to stop straightening my hair and wearing it frizzy, bushy. Not that would be a hug change for me, but I did for a few years after college stop straightening my hair and I found it grew so mych better. It stayed thicker and healthier and it stopped breaking off. And I didn't need to trim it every ___ number of weeks because it stayed better shape.

I'm trying to grow my hair out now; the more processed, colored parts before I do go quasi-natural so I'll have some length to play around with.

What ya'll think?

I mean at this rate, I'm ready to shave my head bald, I'm so sick of dealing with hair.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

(Some) Men Are So Damn Oblivious!

I think I’ve discovered why (some) men are so damn stupid when it comes to women, no really, I think I figured this one out. I think they fail to put themselves in our shoes and see how it feels and questions how they would react if they were us.

Case in point. Friday night, I’m walking down Charles St. alone and on my way somewhere when some dude (of course) says a “Hi, how ya doin”. I say “Good” and keep on going, like I always do. He then makes some comment about how he wants to hold my hand. I’m still walking, don’t look back, keep on going. Why would I stop? Or even engage him in any kind of convo? I then think, what if he put himself in my shoes? And he was then the young, unescorted woman, walking down a city street, close to midnight, and some random, anonymous dude spoke, gestured or commented on knowing your name, where you’re going or whether they can get to know you or worse touch you? How would he feel? Not as a man being gawked at by a woman (who wouldn’t love that?), but as a woman being stopped by a man? It’s not appealing, its not desirable and its not at all wanted. Really. Add on to that, that you are an attractive woman who gets honked at, beeped at, hollered at, catcalled, yelled at and stopped on a daily basis and this particular incident just becomes one of hundreds of annoyances that build a further barrier to keep more and more vagrants out.

But I’m sure he never considered that. He’s just some yo on the street, incapable of thinking outside the small world he lives in. I do think, however, that if more of these kind of guys put themselves in women’s shoes and ask how they’d feel to be here, they might have a better understanding of why so many of us are repulsed by them.

Baltimore: 6 Deaths in 16 Hours

I check the headlines this morning, like I always do and there it was; more homicides form the city that bleeds. This time 6 people had been found dead between the city and county lines driving our death toll for 2007 up to 218, up from 193 at this time last year.

All the deaths apparently occurred within a period of about 16 hours. Some
victims were killed on the streets, others in their homes and one at a bar. They
came from different walks of life and police say none of the deaths appear to be
What the hell is going on around here? More and more people are telling me to be careful as I am often out and alone late at night and I’d never really felt unsafe or threatened to be honest but I may need to watch my back.

Or start packing. Seriously, I gotta get up outta here.

Edited 9-17-07: Oh I just found out 3 more people were shot and killed over the weekend bringing our bodycount to 221 (260 days into the year). Damn.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Drinking and Driving?

I gotta question? Totally hypothetical. Let's say I was driving down to my kickball game and I had a beer in a thermos, with a top on, that was covered and kinda enclosed and you could only drink out of it while pushing a button, which I did while driving. And it was my first drink, so I was hardly drunk. Is that illegal? Cause it wasn't an open container and I wasn't drunk and the beer was not in a bottle. So does that qualify as "open intoxication"? Cause I wasn't drunk. I was actually only sipping on the thing til I got to the game. Does that qualify?

Is it that you can't drink in the car while driving or that you can't be drunk while driving, cause I was clearly not drunk. I just happened to be driving with one beer in a thermos.

That's all.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Remembering 9/11

Who could forget where they were and what they were doing when the 9/11 events unfolded.

I was a college senior, getting ready for work when the first plane hit. Totally oblivious to the news, I actually had my TV on one of those morning shows but had the sound on mute while I had my stereo going. I remember seeing a tower on fire but assumed people were evaluating and everything would be fine. I had no idea what was going on.

I get out the shower and see they are still showing this fire and I'm actually thinking, fire, evacuation, big deal. Then while I'm brushing my hair I see a plane out of the corner of the screen come of of nowhere and strike the building and explode. But I'm so lost I'm thinking that plane (which was the 2nd) was hitting the building that appeared to be to fire (which was the first tower struck). I finally turn down the music and turn up the TV. It's pandemonium. I'm confused, how could a plane just hit a very large building like that. I run into the living room where my father was glued to the TV and ask him what was going on. And he was the first to say "It's a terrorist attack". I'm still lost and really not grasping the magnitude of what's happening but I soon start to realize this is big. Two planes have hit two buildings! Crazy! I finish getting dressed and am about to leave when the news reporter's are questioning whether the towers could collapse. But they dismiss that, stating those are sound buildings and I leave for work still believing that most people have gotten out and that this will be over soon.

But its all over the radio and there is already talk of the large amounts of people trapped and unable to escape.

I get to my mall job and soon as I get there my co-worker tells me tower one has collapsed. What! I'm thinking how the hell does a building just collapse. And because I didn't actually see in on TV yet, I assumed it went down horizontally like a log. I'm terrified for the people outside and around it, still not grasping that there still was many people still inside. I'm stupefied. My co-workers scramble around trying to open the store but also listen out on the radio for more news. We hear there are more planes hijacked and soon airports everywhere start shutting down. Everything starts shutting down. I try and help the few customers that came into the store while listening for news. The Pentagon is hit. There's a 4th plane. People are buzzing that that plane would get shot down. Then the rumors start, Baltimore City is shutting down. The metro is shitting down. They're closing 695 and 83 and all major roads. I don't know what to believe but I'm still staying calm since I don't know the facts. Then the mall security came running by, shouting and brought the first wave of panic through me. he yelled "The mall is closing! The mall is closing!" And I then began to panic. They never closed the mall.

Everybody shut down and flocked to their cars and hit the roads where it seemed the entire county was trying to get home themselves. I remember stepping out in the warm September sunshine and remarked how beautiful and sunny it was and how it felt like a whole day had gone by when at this point it was only about 11am. I drove home worried about my mom who took the metro home and waiting for her with my father. She did get home fine and we sat in front of the TV and watched the news the rest of the day. I then got to see all the footage I'd missed earlier. Of the planes striking both towers, of the bystanders, of the people jumping, the towers then crumbling one by one and people everywhere running for cover. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever saw. Two gigantic towers collapsing into nothing. I couldn't believe my eyes. Who could.

I stayed glued to the news that night for weeks and weeks on, hoping that more people would be pulled from the rubble. They were very few. My niece who must have been in middle school called on on 9/11 after schools were dismissed and said her teacher told her that we were witnessing history in the making and she didn't understand what that meant. I just told her that we'd be talking about this and remembering this day for a long, long time; that what we'd just witnessed would become a major part of American history and that none of us will forget where we were or what we were doing on that day.

Six months later, my father and I watched the documentary by two French brothers who were in the tower when it collapsed and had incredible footage of the collapse from the inside. It was one of the most poignant films I'd ever seen and I highly, highly recommend it.

Then on the one-year anniversary, I had off from work and I laid on the couch watching news coverage and listened to them call out every name of every victim lost. It wasn't much but a small thing I could do to help remember them.

Kathy Griffin: My Hero of the Day

Ha ha ha! This one made my morning.

At some creative arts Emmy's ceremony, Kathy Griffin won an award for her show Life on the D-List (funny show) and she did what no one has done before and that which I've always wanted to do just to smite people: in giving her thanks she remarked that Jesus Christ had nothing to do with her getting the award. Fucking hilarious!

Her actual quote:

"...a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."

Damn her for stealing my idea but kudos for doing it, even though the networks are going to censor it for its telecast this weekend claiming its offensive. Whatever! And how the hell is that more offensive than Sarah Silverman (who sucked!) saying that both Britney's kids were "mistakes" during her opening monologue on the VMAs Sunday night? I think taking pot shots at innocent children is way worse than not giving undue credit to someone who hasn't exactly been without his share of accolades.

Oh and I have to add that the Emmy for Best Song also went to SNL's famed "Dick in a Box" short but the Catholic League doesn't appear to have any problem with that. PPfffffffffff, whatever!!

I love Kathy Griffin. I'll buy her a drink in hell!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Can Britney Make A Comeback?

Uhh, judging by her weak performance opening for the VMA tonight, I'm going to have to go with a big fat no.

I cannot even believe that I stopped what I was doing at 9pm to check out her big promoted opening act. It was disappointing. This is the same chick who has been known to totally steal the show with duets with Madonna, slinking around with a snake on her neck, stripping down to a close to nude ensemble showcasing a rock hard body and just really giving her all. Tonight, however, it was obvious she was not really giving us what she used to.

1) She lip synced. Sure she's done it before, but this time, I don't even think she had a real headset on. She didn't even attempt a live note.

2) I applaud her for getting her body in shape after 2 babies, but I honestly think it it wasn't toned enough to be as half naked as she was. We're used to seeing Britney's defined abs. I found it kinda embarrassing for her to be in such a revealing outfit and looking a lot less cut. Her dancers looked better. Poor wardrobe choice.

3) The hair looked awful. We know her hair is very short due to her shaving it but those extensions were horrid and too obvious. This chick is banking $750K a month and the best her stylist could come up with were these yellow blond tracks and stripper gear. She could have paid me $1000 and I'd have done a better weave. She should talk to Beyonce's people.

4) What happened to the choreography. I'm not a fan of her music but Britney has always been a great dance in my book, normally hitting all her dance steps but there were several times she seemed unbalanced in her high heel boots and overall lacked the prowess she usually has dancing. It was like she wasn't really into and and had missed some rehearsals.

5) The music, I'm sorry, it sucked. I can't even remember the hook but it was lame. In fact, I hated it. I don't know who produced it but its weak. And its opening line "Its Britney, bitch." What is wrong with her? This is a mother of 2 babies. Why try so hard to be this sex-crazed, bad ass? Why would you even present yourself in a way there would be inappropriate to your children? It's time to get past that, really.

Overall, all I saw was a stage full of dancers on poles looking like strippers and a confused Britney Spears faking vocals and trying to keep up with what dance moves she remembered over the lamest techno-dance track. It was poor.

And I'm disappointed. A comeback? She would seriously have to step it up a whole helluva lot better than that. Either that or focus on raising her boys.

Pick one.

Dream Men of the Moment

Totally biting off my friend Eclectik Relaxation's blog where he always posts his favorite beautiful women. I've decided to honor my own collection of hottie men I desire to share and also to look at whenever I want to. And that list will vary depending on my mood but here are my main men.

David Beckham

Why? Well just look at him. I usually do not go for blondes but he is like perfection personified. The face alone sold me. He had that square jawline, intense eyes and prefect features that only an artist 2nd in line with nature could perfect.

Lenny Kravitz

Why? He is just absolutely beautiful and bonus for being a black man that plays rock music. He has everything, musical talent, cool hair, beautiful features as well as a rock hard butt, abs, arms, caramel skin and style. That's hot!

Julian McMahon

Why? As the star of Nip/Tuck, he is worth tuning in every week just to see his kinky sex scenes and (kudos to FX for showing some bare ass on basic cable). He portrays a classic bad boy. And he could ____ my _____ anytime he wanted to. You fill in those blanks.


Why? Style, man! He is all about style! Seriously, his look is the hottest right now. That polished gentleman's dress mixed with his flair and relationship lyrics. Add on to that his smooth caramel skin, freckles, lips and the swagger in her voice. Oooh yeah! His style alone is much appreciated. I see fellows trying to imitate, I say keep it up. We women are noticing. He's like serious long-term, relationship material.

Matthew McNaughhey

Why? Why? He's fine! Again, not a blonde fan but I am a fan of nice butts, abs, legs, thighs, tanned, glistening skin and he's got that wild, cowboy thing going on, like he would just grab your ass and saddle you up and have you riding high like your on a mechanical bull and ....(ok going too far). Strictly, short-term, purely sexual fun and games material.

John Legend

Why? This one is simple, he sings pretty, reminicent of Stevie Wonder, plays the piano, has pretty bubblin brown sugar skin and sings lovely songs about love. I keep hearing, though, that he might be gay but Ihavne't found any concrete eveidence of this yet. Regardless, he is adorable.

Adam Levine

Why? Same reasons as John, sings like Stevie (I'm a sucker for a soulful singer), is cute as all hell and well, that's it. Cutiepie! I'd have his baby and hope it comes out singing!

Mos Def

Why? I really can't even pinpoint why. It's just something about him. When I saw him acting in some film, he just stayed with me. It's like he has a perfect mix of street knowledge and cred mixed with real intellectual smarts. Like he could be the broke, mofo 'round the corner or the executive on the board room. Then rap on top of that. I dig that. And he aint bad looking either. Most definitely!

John Cusack

Why? He just has this everyday, every man, totally down to earth attainability like I could get a guy as lovable as he portrays himself on screen. Lots of his characters are vulnerable, lovelorn and totally sweet. I seriously would marry a guy like him. Dark hair, intense eyes, sensitive, adorable. He's the type of guy you want to give your heart to and make him happy.

Hill Harper

Why? Well this one is simple. If you've ever heard the saying that people tend to choose people that look like them, he is my perfect match! We look just a like! Brown-skin, little nose, heart-shaped mouth. He is suppose to be with me genetically so we can have gogeous brown babies together! Look at him! He is my ultimate match!

And finally, Marvin Gaye

So yeah, he's no longer living but still one of the finest and most talented men ever. I remember hearing Let's Get it On when I was a child and thinking 'that man is kinda sexy'. I like to think I owe my life to this man as I believe my parents got together dancing to Got to Give It Up at the club they met and danced to his music throughout their courtship. But forget all that, he is just the best soul and R&B singer and all his stuff is so classic. Talented. Troubled but damn sexy.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Ick! Dumb Fuckery on Myspace

I have bitched about this on my defunct Myspace blog and now I'm going to bitch about it here.

I seriously can't get over the riff raff trash that writes me on there trying to befriend me with their lame-ass lines, ghetto-tastic profiles and just nasty, senseless messages. I would just make my profile private but I don't want to close the door on potentials that actually have some sense and I have met some really cool peeps on there.

So I'm going to air out my greivances right here and now and hope they all read it cause they know who they are.

If you are on Myspace and:
  • you are 40 years old, you are too old to be browsing profiles on Myspace.

  • you write me using broken English, ebonics and other hood colloquialisms, your messages will be automatically deleted. Turn ons for me are complete thoughts, sentences and proper punctuation.

  • you send me a vague hello without a picture and an incomplete profile, I will not write back. Why should I take the time to write a nameless, faceless, interest-less, anonymous person with no background info? Why should I care?

  • your profile is rank with big booty girls and half naked chicks, I DON'T want to be associated with you nor do I want to know anything more about you. And never will I want to be added to your collection.

  • you call me "ma", "sweetie", "baby", "boo" or "cutie", the message will be trashed. You don't know me and I don't appreciate being acknowledged like that. It's young. Grow up!

  • you claim to make over $100k, while being pictured standing in front of a Hyundai (or Kia or Chevy or Dodge). I'm not some 19 year old looking for a sugar Daddy, I don't believe a word of it AND I couldn't care less. Unimpressed.

  • you have nothing but poor pictures of yourself using your cell phone camera (which takes awful pics). They look horrible. Make you look uglier and does not sweeten the deal to get to know you. WORSE is if these pics are taken in the bathroom with no shirt on. I have NEVER seen a guy (muscle-bound or not) look good this way. It makes you look cheap, silly, dirty and trifling. Invest in a digital camera and recruit a good friend to snap some decent shots. Put effort into how you present yourself, especially to strangers.

  • you write me vividly describing what you want to do to me sexually, you will be BLOCKED and I will never accept a message from you again. If you believe this is appropriate or appealing you obviously dont know me and NEVER WILL!

  • you write me to try and hook up with one of my friends, FUCK OFF! And yes, I will warn them in advance about you.

  • your profile covers the gamut of pimp and gangsta imagery; butt naked booty skanks, money, rims, pimped-out cars, loud, southern rap music blaring and the like, we're not going to have anything in common. Don't expect a response.

  • you fancy yourself as a novice photographer, videographer, writer, producer, director or manager and your profile and/or work looks like shit, I won't want to work with you.

  • you send me unsolicited photos or your penis or other body parts, I will save it to my computer and submit the pics to various websites all other the net. You'll get your 15 minutes of fame.

That should cover it for now. I'm sure I'll be updating this list when needed.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Proactiv, Rescuing Stars from "Acne"?

Ya know, everytime I see one of these daggone ads, they piss me off. Why? Come on, you know why. Cause they have these celebrities up there pitching this product and trying to act like they actually have acne, which they don't. They have the gall to show these 'before' pics of Jessica Simpson, Vanessa Williams and Kelly Clarkson with what looks like the tiniest, little, itty bitty bump on the corner of their chin that they had to zoom in several times to even see and they're trying to pass that off as acne! That is NOT acne! Its a tiny bump, that's all. I seriously hate when advertisers exaggerate things to make a point.

Is Baltimore Stepping Up?

I keep hearing from people that Baltimore is "rebuilding ", trying to "step it up", is growing and "getting better". And I roll my eyes and suck my teeth cause I'll believe it when I see it, right?

So Labor Day weekend rolls around and I was trying to find some hot spots to do dancing. I get an email from my usual favorite dance spot about a party going on Sunday night. I email the promoter back (who will remain nameless) to ask about the cover, since it wasn't posted. Mind you, this club I used to get into for free before 10pm not but a year prior. After that, it was $10. I wanted to spit out my coffee when he replied and told me the cover, all night was now $20. $20! To get into a club? In Baltimore? The same one I've frequently for years! Oh, I was hot. The last time I spent that on cover charge, my butt was in Miami! Umm, who do they think they are charging $20 for a club whose dancefloor hasn't gotten any bigger and I'm sure whose clientele (by that, I mean the men) aren't any better either? This is not DC! Then he had the nerve to add that $20 is the going rate for any "quality entertainment" that night in town.


Well, my friend and I decided to hit 2 other parties that offered free covers for ladies before 11:30pm and you could circulate between the two. As I was sitting at the bar ordering the biggest alcoholic drink I'd heard of, we then noticed the other ladies trickling in and couldn't help but notice all the hoochie-fied, short, short skirts, long, waist-long weaves and 5-inch stripper heels sauntering in. I mean, you'd have thought this was casting calls for video vixens. not saying they looked cute but they certainly were trying real hard. My friend judged by the way they were dressed and said it reminded her of South Beach. I thought for a 2nd. Then paid for my $10 drink and remembered, I also spent $10 the previous week on a Long Island ice tea. I never used to spend that kind of dough on mixed drinks before. I turned to my friend and asked 'Is is possible Baltimore really is trying to step it up? And be more like DC and Miami?' I even read online about a proposal to build a red line and a green line. And now that I think about it, I'm hearing more and more people talking about how Bmore is getting more and more expensive. Real estate, property taxes, everything has been going up even more.

Could it be? Is Baltimore really stepping up? I guess time will tell? Mine here, though, could be running out.