Sunday, September 16, 2007

(Some) Men Are So Damn Oblivious!

I think I’ve discovered why (some) men are so damn stupid when it comes to women, no really, I think I figured this one out. I think they fail to put themselves in our shoes and see how it feels and questions how they would react if they were us.

Case in point. Friday night, I’m walking down Charles St. alone and on my way somewhere when some dude (of course) says a “Hi, how ya doin”. I say “Good” and keep on going, like I always do. He then makes some comment about how he wants to hold my hand. I’m still walking, don’t look back, keep on going. Why would I stop? Or even engage him in any kind of convo? I then think, what if he put himself in my shoes? And he was then the young, unescorted woman, walking down a city street, close to midnight, and some random, anonymous dude spoke, gestured or commented on knowing your name, where you’re going or whether they can get to know you or worse touch you? How would he feel? Not as a man being gawked at by a woman (who wouldn’t love that?), but as a woman being stopped by a man? It’s not appealing, its not desirable and its not at all wanted. Really. Add on to that, that you are an attractive woman who gets honked at, beeped at, hollered at, catcalled, yelled at and stopped on a daily basis and this particular incident just becomes one of hundreds of annoyances that build a further barrier to keep more and more vagrants out.

But I’m sure he never considered that. He’s just some yo on the street, incapable of thinking outside the small world he lives in. I do think, however, that if more of these kind of guys put themselves in women’s shoes and ask how they’d feel to be here, they might have a better understanding of why so many of us are repulsed by them.


maddypappy1 said...

I've never really thought of that from a woman's perspective. Thanks for the insight. I've never really hollered at a random girl on the street because it appers to be pretty superficial and shallow. The only reason why I'd be approaching her is because of her looks. I just can't roll with that. I've gotten to know each girl before I started dating them (through work, school, church etc.) Of course, attractiveness had something to do with the relationship, but it was strictly based on that.

teddygraphy said...

I do understand where you are coming from with this and believe me I do. But what's wrong if a man feels he has some sort of connection with you that deserves the exploration. Does he have to game on you to get your attention or get overly creative with the interruption in your world?
I think an honest and respectful way of approaching a random girl/woman as the case maybe is not so revolting.
Just my thoughts ma

The Girl From Park Heights said...

To Teddy- I guess I can't see how a man could feel a connection with me by me just walking near him down a street. I wouldn't want to be "gamed on" and most times, I just don't want to be bothered, period. If he would have to interrupt me, he should start with a civil "Hello...".

If it is indeed respectful, it won't be revolting. But this post was not speaking on those.