Monday, September 24, 2007

I (stolen from Skinny Black Chick)

Because its Monday, I hate Myspace and I could use yet another mental break.

I am not: you typical black chick. I hate most new hip hop, don't praise your Jesus, nor do I carry lessons learned from mommo or grandmomma.
I hear: basslines before lyrics in most songs
I regret: ignoring years of red flags and making a man my entire world.
I care: constantlyimproving myself and my writing
I always: think of my father in making life decisions. I question whether that would make him proud.
I long to: fall deeply in love again and build a life with someone.
I feel alone: when I reach out and there's no one there and no one trying to be there.
I hide: well....not much. I pretty much put everything out there.
I sing: bluesy love songs, nearly everyday or whenever I'm inspired. And I do pretty well!
I dance: My ASS OFF! Or til I sweat as if is one of the few things in life that truly make me happy.
I write: because it is the easiest way to express my thoughts. It takes the burdens off my chest, organizes my thoughts and helps me express my inner most thoughts and desires.
I breathe: music. Without it I would curl up and die.
I play: with the thought of doing musical theater. Don't know how I'd get started but I'd love to do it if not be one time.
I miss: my Daddy. He was my soulmate in life.
I search: for peace of mind.
I say: too much and that's usually not enough.
I feel: full of anticipation, like I've only just begun.
I succeed(ed): by learning from my mistakes.
I fail(ed): at trying to make a relationship work with a man who did not and would not love me
I dream: of the happily ever after, big house, 3 rugrats, family vacations and retiring with my dearest near the water and ending cozy evenings together with a bottle of chianti. (ya know after the nightly, hot, sticky, Wild Kingdom monkey sex).
I sleep: in next to nothing with a kitty kat purring on my pilow
I wonder: if the big dream will ever happen
I worry: that I'll never be able to have a family the traditional way ie. with a husband
I have: abandonment issues; a fear of being left, discarded, pushed aside, thrown away and forgotten about
I give: too much of myself to unworthy, nonreciprocating people.
I fight: with my inner critic 24/7.
I am: a masterpiece of perfect imperfection. (per Skinny girl! Nice!)
I can’t: be intimate with someone without catching feelings, swim, or count well in my head.
I will: one day be a published writer, a mother, a homeowner, see Europe and Africa, perform on stage, sing for a crowd and direct a film.
I can: be a total child at time.
I would: be a real force to be reckoned with if I could break my habit of laziness and procrastination and get organized.
I might: adopt children one day. I always wanted a large family.
I like: holding and being held. Can never get enough of it.
I love: writing, gossping, dancing, drinking, sex, porn, cats, beer, guys with sideburns, cheese, citylife, flip-flops, sunshine and arched eyebrows.
I smile: when complimented.
I frown: when I am annoyed which makes up about 65% of my regular day
I read: lots of mindless stuff on dead bodies, serial killers, atheism, sociology, pop culture, black culture, dating and single girl life. Crap.

3 comments:

Skinny Black Chick said...

No problem. I definitely borrowed this post from another blogger. I like your spin on it. You're right, we are very much alike.

eschaton said...

painfully naked self knowledge

Ananda said...

blessings sistalove. i loved your honesty in your post. i will be back to visit your blog more often. keep writing. i affirm that you have everything that your heart desires. and it is so. peace, love, creativity, and abundance. ananda