Wednesday, May 28, 2008

30 and Holding Up Well?

It's always flattering to me when someone thinks I'm much younger than I am. I had a college kid try and hit on me at a Target the other week and his come on line was asking what school I go to and what was my major. Cute! Even better was the look of complete shock that appeared on his face when I told him I'd finished my undergrad in 2001.

And I love pulling out my ID when asked (cause they should, right I could be 19 for all they know) and having a few do a double take to make sure its me.

But there have been a few times lately when I've told people my age and more than being shocked, they were completely stupefied.

Wow! You look sooo good! You don't look at all 30! You look really good!

Now most times its very flattering but a few times I began to wonder, how bad should I look for 30? Should I be wrinkled? Overweight? Gray hairs? Boobs sitting on my stomach? Wearing "Mom" jeans? I mean really, do people not expect 30 to look like me? And why not? If I was hot at 28 and 29, why would I suddenly fall downhill a year later?

Made me think I guess I'm doing a good job preserving myself. Perhaps I should invest in a barrel of formaldehyde to continue giving my skin that lively look!

Friday, May 23, 2008

White Girl Movies

Oh white girl movies. You know the ones. The one where some all-American, Wonder bread white girl... Kristen, Julie, Sarah, Laura or Kelly is facing some obstacle. Her husband or boyfriend left her, she's trying to get ahead in her career, she's got a dream, she wants to dance, write design, find true love, carve her path, reach for her dreams, take your pick and in the end gets exactly what her heart desires and everything is right in the world again.

*cue Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten*

I so hate these movies. Not because they appear to be written specifically for dreamy-eyed white girls who always get their man in the end but because they are so fucking saccharine sweet, so utterly predictable, so lame, squeaky clean cut and chocked full of eyeroll-worthy lines and boring plot lines. But worst than that, are the freaking trailers. I feel like I can sniff them out by now. They start with white girl in question, then reveal her issue, her wacky friends/family and how she's going to solve it and then like clockwork, as if there is a template or guidebook trailer producers have created where they end the trailer with the biggest draw; the empowering white girl music.

*cue Michelle Branch's Everywhere*

This is the part that is suppose to make white girls feel good (and I think it works). The white girl rock hits a pivotal note or climax in the song right as they are revealing the true meaning and motive in the story. And white girls go flocking, in droves to the theaters to see it. This has to be a set formula that studios have tapped into. Not lying, I know I'm not the only whose noticed.

In fact, if I were smart, I'd tap into the market and try and capitalize. All's I gotta do is write a story where cute white girl, let's call her Emily is having a rough time or being denied something she so badly wants. On the way to pursuing this want, she runs into cutie pie white boy, we'll call him Brad. They meet cute and through a series of obstacles end up in love. We'll cast either Kate Hudson, Mandy Moore or Reese Witherspoon as Emily and maybe Patrick Dempsey or Adrian Grenier .Cue something by Avril Lavigne or Vanessa Carlton. And bam! You gotta yourself a million dollar movie!

Don't believe me? Check out the trailers below.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Google Analytics Reveals All

Ya know for a chick that hasn't had a blog post in over a month, traffic to this blog didn't seem to cease much during my absence.

According to Google Analytics, my tracking system, this blog has had 496 visits between April 5 and May 6 with 624 individual blog views. 36% of views are coming directly to my address, while another 30% are stumbling on from a Google search.

And while the vast majority of hits are coming from the States, I'm also getting hits from France, Germany, Netherlands, Spain, Italy, Canada, Austria, Bahrain, Sweden, Brazil and Singapore.

Keywords used in Google searches to find my page have included:

black men lose weight beer butt thighs.
lil redbone boob
asian pubes low rise
baltimore ugliest
blogspot sluts
actress charlee
baltimore parking fine payment
black woman copulating
ass whooping
beer in a thermos
candi big boobs

And the most hit blogs over the past month are:
  1. Three Ways to Get A Husband
  2. Too Old for Low Rise Jeans?
  3. What Constitutes a Slut?
  4. Can't a Skinny Girl Decide to Lose Weight?
  5. At Eastern Motors, your job's your credit...

Who are you people?????
Come out! Come out wherever you are! And thanks for reading my humble lil ol' blog. Maybe I'll try and post some more.

Nappy or Not Revisited

So I gave in. Its done. Went pretty much natural and stopped putting heat on and frying my naturally fine wavy hair and you know what, it feels damn good. Now I’d love to tell ya’ll I’m totally natural and have stopped relaxing but I’m not really trying to rock an all-out ‘fro, just have more low-maintenance hair that won’t break off every month and actually retain some texture and thickness. So I’ve opted to use a mild relaxer and refrain from all heat and continual brushing, combing and pulling on my fragile hair.

And I am loving it. It’s nearly wash-n-go and 3 times thicker than it used to be. We’ll see how long it lasts but I seriously hope for a long time.

Random Ponderings in May

So sorry I’ve left everyone waiting around with baited breath. I’m sure some of you have been just pulling your hair out and losing sleep waiting for a new post from me ;). I haven’t given up on my lil blog, just been busy with life changes, like mainly a new job, which I’ll get into more on another post.

Things have been good and while I wish I had something more concrete, I’ve only had a few things really running through my mind that I can share at the moment.

Rising Gas Prices-Ok, so I think we get it. Gas prices are really high. Really, really high. I mean the highest its ever been before and its only going to break the record it broke this morning, tomorrow morning. It’s going to hit $4 by summer. It’s really, really bad. Thank you newscaster people. I get it. Now can I hear something else on the news every single day. And while I’m bitching about the news, someone is shot or assaulted in Baltimore every single day *. Can we move on???? Need we hear the same ‘ol report every day?

* Slight exaggeration.

Presidential Elections-Anybody still care about this? Um, when is this over? Cause everyday with Obama and Clinton. Geez, I’m over it. Elections are going on. Someone will get in. One of those schmoes will be our next Pres. Bush will be out, everything will be wonderful. Do we really need a play-by-play, everysingleday on the what’s and who’s and where’s and when’s of this goddamn, dragged out election. Fuck! How about a quarterly report? Better yet holla at me in September.

Papal Visit-Why is it when the Pope visits they call it the Papal visit. Why isn’t it call a Popal visit?

Also, sorry to all my fellow bloggers who haven’t heard from me. It’s not that I don’t have love anymore, its that my new job have blocked Blogspot! :( I’ll try and catch up soon as I can.

And BIG UPPS to my Cuz from CT for reading my blog. Love ya! And much love to the little ones!