Friday, May 23, 2008

White Girl Movies

Oh white girl movies. You know the ones. The one where some all-American, Wonder bread white girl... Kristen, Julie, Sarah, Laura or Kelly is facing some obstacle. Her husband or boyfriend left her, she's trying to get ahead in her career, she's got a dream, she wants to dance, write design, find true love, carve her path, reach for her dreams, take your pick and in the end gets exactly what her heart desires and everything is right in the world again.

*cue Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten*

I so hate these movies. Not because they appear to be written specifically for dreamy-eyed white girls who always get their man in the end but because they are so fucking saccharine sweet, so utterly predictable, so lame, squeaky clean cut and chocked full of eyeroll-worthy lines and boring plot lines. But worst than that, are the freaking trailers. I feel like I can sniff them out by now. They start with white girl in question, then reveal her issue, her wacky friends/family and how she's going to solve it and then like clockwork, as if there is a template or guidebook trailer producers have created where they end the trailer with the biggest draw; the empowering white girl music.

*cue Michelle Branch's Everywhere*

This is the part that is suppose to make white girls feel good (and I think it works). The white girl rock hits a pivotal note or climax in the song right as they are revealing the true meaning and motive in the story. And white girls go flocking, in droves to the theaters to see it. This has to be a set formula that studios have tapped into. Not lying, I know I'm not the only whose noticed.

In fact, if I were smart, I'd tap into the market and try and capitalize. All's I gotta do is write a story where cute white girl, let's call her Emily is having a rough time or being denied something she so badly wants. On the way to pursuing this want, she runs into cutie pie white boy, we'll call him Brad. They meet cute and through a series of obstacles end up in love. We'll cast either Kate Hudson, Mandy Moore or Reese Witherspoon as Emily and maybe Patrick Dempsey or Adrian Grenier .Cue something by Avril Lavigne or Vanessa Carlton. And bam! You gotta yourself a million dollar movie!

Don't believe me? Check out the trailers below.

1 comment:

Cat said...

If Hollywood was about more than money but actually say entertainment maybe we could get some diversity up on that screen (plot and racially). I'd love to be a screen writer (a sucessful one at that) but it seems that I have to make a Grey's Anatomy (written/created by a black woman by the way)to make it! Other races have trouble too other than baby daddies and drugs. Or the new influx of sucessful black woman, we'll call her Terry, who has a tough exterior and meets working class guy, let's call him Robert, who tries to break down her tough girl exterior. Rinse and repeat- come on hollywood- let's stop recycling movie plots- that won't help the planet!
*Steps off soap box*