Wednesday, February 27, 2008

(Some) Men Are So Damn Oblivious II

She's not that into you if:





*deep exasperated sigh*



I was in Philly for a meeting over the weekend where we had presentations held in a large conference room and was served by the wait staff there for 2 days. I could have put money on it cause out of the corner of my eye, I could sense that I'd accidently (always by accident) caught the eye of the tall, dark-skinned brotherman waiter and that he was glued. (Always! Always happens to me. No matter where I go, there is always some service man whose interest I've caught. If he's waiting tables, taking out the trash, mopping the floor, bussing tables or cleaning toilets, he always wants to know ME! Sorry, not a beef with service people just a weird, uncanny coincidence, of which I don't understand. But that's another rant for another day).


So he's staring and I'm getting my food and getting back to my seat as soon as possible. Later, he makes a special trip to take my plate away from lunch and asks if I'm from Philly? No. New York? No. Jersey? Nope. I finally tell him Baltimore (to make a point that I just don't live anywhere near here). He seems more intrigued. Fuck!


Later again, that same day, he walks by (still bussing tables) and makes a comment on how beautiful he thought I looked. Thanks, I say. Then scramble back to my seat and out of his view. Everytime I went to the ladies room, there he was smiling and staring. I would think that my saying I don't live anywhere near Philly would be the clincher. Ohhh nooooo! That would be too easy.


Next day, he's there again, making sure he's the main one filling up my soup bowl and again remarking as he passes me on how 'beautiful, so beautiful', he thinks I am. Fine. I heard. Let it go.


I walk past later and he asks for my business card. I didn't bring them (the truth). And later (yes we were there all daggone day), he comes right up to me and asks if he can give me his number.


Why?


Seriously! If a woman has darted to get away from you, keeping conversating as curt and swift as possible, has clearly stated she doesn't live here, makes no eye contact and hasn't asked you a single thing besides what kind of soup is this and after asnwering your questions, nearly runs to get away, what makes you think she's in any way interested?


Huh?


Cause it sounds to me like she isn't at all interested and wouldn't ever call even if she was nice enough to take the number (which I'm not nice enough to do). Hahrumph!


I need to get me a big, fat, fake wedding ring, I swear!




** Cartoon by Rachel Nabor**

10 comments:

Erika 2004 said...

Sorry, hate to tell you but the fake wedding ring will not work. He might have saw it as more of a challenge. He would have probably went on about how lucky a man your husband was and how he wouldn't let you out of his sight if you were his wife. And as you paid little to no attention, he would have kept talking, totally oblivious.

meatwad said...

More fun than a wedding ring. Get a t-shirt that says:

"If you think my tits are big, you should see the size of my cock!"

The Girl From Park Heights said...

LOL, Meat. Score another one!

Not Your Average Male said...

LMAO @ meatwad. Classic.

E2k4 is right -- the ring won't work. Especially not up here in the City of Brotherly Hate. Just learn a wicked martial arts fighting style and jab the next busboy in the throat. Chances are he's not a masochist, so you should be okay. I hope. I mean, besides the whole getting-arrested-for-assault thing.

Cat said...

I think the wedding ring will work a little. Say you're happily married with kids. Or forgo the ring and tell him you've got five kids at home. Then HE"LL run the other way. (also what doesn't work- telling them you're a lesbian). Only has telling a guy you have kids seem to work.
Or you can simply rude and hope he doesn't bust a cap in your "ass" and as soon as he begins an inkling of a flirting sigh and say "Thank you for the compliment but look , save yourself some time, I have someone and I am not interested in stepping out on them because I am very happy. Also I don't need anymore male friends. Yes I am that damn lucky that I have all the friends I need. So if you give me your number please realize that I will never use it. But good luck to you in your future love endevours."

meatwad said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wv said...

Ok first off... Meatwad is a genius.

Cat--I don't think ripping out a monologue is the best way to go about it. It may be effective but the problem is: she ain't interested in this guy, so I am against sharing any information at all. It's no one's business if she has a man or if she's a happy carpet licker or if she has a huge cock. This guy does NOT matter. Sharing personal information with strangers that you have no intention of being a friendly with is absolutely not necessary. The point is that she ain't interested in this philly cat, everything else is irrelevant. There's a subtle and effective way to go about this I'm sure.

blog lady... I would tell you to "be a little grateful that people find you attractive and show interest in you, not all people are lucky as you." But that may sound a little condescending so I'm not going to say that. Just think when you're in your 40s and 50s when your fat bags are hangin over your belt buckle... you'll be missing all that attention. ;-) OR not and you'll still be hot.

The Girl From Park Heights said...

"Just think when you're in your 40s and 50s when your fat bags are hangin over your belt buckle... you'll be missing all that attention. "

WV- By then I'll probably be reminiscing about my youth and 'back in the day' when I had all the mens chasing me. And trying to convince my grandchil'ren that I was once foxy!And pulling my saggy boobs back up on my stomach!

meatwad said...

"By then I'll probably be reminiscing about my youth and 'back in the day' when I had all the mens chasing me. And trying to convince my grandchil'ren that I was once foxy!And pulling my saggy boobs back up on my stomach!"

I can't wait until our slang is so out of date that the little ones eyes will cross when we talk to them.

Meat @ 80 - 'Well kids, Grampy used to get all the trim because his game was tight and he knew how to pickup the girls that could work it.'

Grandkid 1 - 'What's grandpa talking about?'

Grandkid 2 - 'I think he's saying his tando was so kaplow that he polybanged the sizzling rabbits all the time.'

Grandkid 1 - 'Well why didn't he just say that?'

Not Your Average Male said...

Meatwad -- fucking genius! Twice on one post, that's just not fair... lol