10 Things I'm Grateful For This Thanksgiving

Totally stealing this blog idea from the Friendly Neighborhood Skeptic.

1. Nip/Tuck's newest season. Thank the agnostic gods that FX has brought back my Tuesday night debauchery fix. Everytime, I hear them say 'shit', 'dick' or 'pussylips', I squeal in delight at having some sliver of X-rated adult humor slipped into basic cable for broke mofos like me and act as if they did it just for me. Carry on FX and Drs. Troy and McNamara. Please, continue to spoil me with gratuitous sex, tight bare asses and insane plotlines. Best thing on TV today!


2. Fast metabolisms. Though mine has slowed a notch. I'm so grateful to still have the ability to guzzle beer, dine on cheese, gorge on pizza and throw myself on the mercy of french fries and other goodies and still be able to get into my lovely low-rise jeans. I realize it won't last forever and I'm going to milk it for all its worth.


3. Tiffany's Beauty Supply on Reisterstown Rd. I LUV me some them! Since I was in high school, this store has been hooking me up and I'm so pleased to see them grow and expand their wonderful store. Whatever your beauty needs, seriously, they have it. And yes, I consider myself as their personal endorser.


4. My kitten babies: Angel Baby Muffin and Camryn Pumpkin. Obviously, I'm in love with my kitties. Joy to me is begin greeted at the door by a sweet, little fluffy butt, waking up to a soft little paw on my shoulder, having a warm, nuzzling little body on my lap when I'm on the computer, seeing sincere, gentle little round eyes looking out for me when I'm sick and having a lovable little friend lay on the floor when I'm cooking or taking a bath just cause she wants to be near me. If you have never experienced that kind of love from a pet, I highly suggest it.
5. My Ipod. Cause lets face it, people are gross, boring and icky sometimes and what better escape then to be able to stick some earbuds in your ears, crank your own created playlist and tune everybody the hell out. I only wish I could listen to it all the time.
6. Employment. I am grateful to still have gainful employment and to not have gotten fired thus far. I seriously hope I can keep the charade up and keep the paychecks a-coming. Cause being broke, in in default with bills and having bad credit sucks. So I've heard.

Yada, yada, yada.

Uhhh, yeah, sadly I started this one last week and have since gotten bored with it, so I don't actually have a 7-10 but lets just say life has been kind to me as of late but I'm kinda over this particular blog.

Moving along.

Stop Embarassing Yourself Tiffany!

Ya know, I am not a fan of breast implants at all but what is worst to me, is when an already well-endowed person, then decides to blow themselves up even more, I guess in a sadder attempt to conform to grotesque Hollywood standards. Ladies and gentleman, I'm talking about Tiffany Pollard, aka New York of VH1 fame. I just happened to be flicking channels (cause I can't stand her new show and refuse to watch it) and the first thing that stood out (aside from her usual garish overdone makeup and bigger-than-life weaves) are her newly enlarged breasts, plumped so freaking high in the air, they are nearly slapping her in the face. They actually only sit inches away from her chin.

Yo, Tiffany, you look RI-DIC-U-LOUS!

Stop embarassing yourself!

You will never have a serious acting career by bimboing yourself out like some cracked-out, version of Pam Anderson. And stop doing these I Love New York shows. If it has taken 3 shows to help you find a man, obviously, its not helping you or your career. You are making a fool of yourself!

I So Hate Winter, I Swear

Yeah, I know, it's not even winter but just the drop in temperature lately to 40 degrees has got my griping already and getting ready to have a 'tude over the impending new season anyway.

I hate winter time. And here's why.

I hate cold air. I hate the feeling of a chilly, winter breeze, freezing my cheeks, watering my eyes and turning my nose into an instant faucet, so much in fact, that I have to dig into my pockets praying to the gods I don't believe in that there are some old tissues hidden in there to clean up my snotty nose.

I hate large, heavy, bulky woolen coats and thick socks; gloves that I have to cover my delicate little fingers with but then also have to pull them off to find change or do anything that requires me to decipher what I'm touching. I hate wearing scarves to cover my neck or hats so I don't catch a death of cold, which also serves to mush down the hairdo that I spent meticulous time creating before I left the house and of which I'll have to refix, soon as I get to my destination. I hate having to be bundled up. I much prefer for my skin to receive as much sun and air as possible. I hate having to wear layers and socks with shoes to keep my petite, 'lil frame warm.

I hate snow. Yep, I hate snow. Cause while its all pretty and peaceful looking when you're cozy in your house, in pajamas, sipping on hot cocoa, with nothing to do but curl up with a book or watch movies, its a pain in the crack of my ass when you then have to go to work and must brave the elements in the aformentioned layers of clothing, armed with nothing less than an ice scraper, defroster and thick snow boots to first, clean off your car, then dig it out its spot and pray when you leave that some selfish mofo won't immediately take the parking spot your worked you lil snot-nosed, frozen cold ass off cleaning up.

I hate how my car acts in the snow. Unlike the beautiful, glory days of summer, when it takes off smoothly right after the key is in ignition, its V6 engine, ready and willing to do just as I say. Under 30 degrees, it will hesitate as if wiping the sleep from it eyes and clearing its throat as if it say 'You want me to do what, now? And where?' There is always the 5 seconds when it acts like it won't start and I think 'oh well, have to call outta work' and then the moment when it does and then its 'aw, damn', when the engine slowly and tiredly kicks in.

Then you get to hit the nasty roads. Thanks to the snow, the roads are then condensed into smaller lanes. Sometimes multiple-lane roads become one-lane roads as you try to bypass ice patches and simple drivers that didn't see the ice patches, swerving in your lane as you then swerve elsewhere to dodge causing a collision, for fear of increasing that daggone auto insurance rate. If its still snowing, visibility is poor as you put your wipers on high and squint to see through the frosty windshield. Then when you get to where you need to go (at double the usual time), half of the parking spaces are gone since the plows needed to push the snow somewhere, so you're trying to squeeze into what available spot is left and leave yourself room to get out. Then at the end of the day, you get to do the cleaning and digging again. Oh what fun!

I hate how the beautiful snow, then turns dark and cruddy and dirty a few days later, coating the city streets with ugg. I hate the salt the plowers spray on the sides of your car and how you have to get it off quickly for fear of it ruining your paint job. I hate how my car looks 5 days after a snowfall. I also hate the loooong line at the car wash the first day the weather is clear again cause everybody had the same idea.

I hate how during the winter months, it gets dark by 5pm, making it twice as hard to go back out in the evening since it feels much later than what it is. I also hate the lack of sunshine and gray sky snow brings as it puts a damper on my overall mood. Bright sunshine is happiness to me.

I hate having a birthday in the dead on winter; February, when nasty weather always threatens to ruin my plans. I recall the flu bug that would mysteriously go around every single February growing up, trying to cancel my birthday parties. I hate that the going-out options are limited when its 20 degrees out in February and that nobody wants to go out in February, including me!

I hate sweaters. I hate turtlenecks. I hate any clothes that restrict my body and covers every inch of my skin. I hate how dry my hair and skin gets. I hate trembling. I hate having to almost make a run for it anytime I'm outside to get from the building to the car as quickly as possible.

I hate it!

E Major's Nuthin'Nice/You Know That Video

Doing another favor for a friend, I got asked to play an extra in my friend E Major's video Nuthin' Nice. So on time I was and on the set two weeks ago to play an exta, which then turned into Girl#4, or a role I like to call 'Pissed Off Stripper". The premise is he's interviewing girls for a job and I guess I was suppose to be some sort of reformed stripper (with a visual resume in hand) trying to make anew. The backstory I created was that I had two kids to feed and was trying to make a new start on the straight and narrow but apparently I was disqualified for the position due to my unseemly past.

Damn, ever since that Verbatim video I've been typecast like a mofo! Nevertheless, the video is mad tight.

Big ups to the director Hilton Carter and the Undersound Crew. Ya'll are doing it!

E Major's Nuthin' Nice/You Know That

http://www.myspace.com/emajorthegeneral

Man, That's an Ass Whopping Right There.

So apparently, the wildfire started last month that affected Los Angeles county, San Diego, and San Bernardino, destroyed 38,000 acres of land, 21 homes, 42 structures and killed 14 people, might have been started by a 10 year old boy.

Now if that doesn't call for a swift ass whooping,

then I don't know what would.

Someone needs to whoop that ass, as my girl Sunny would say, down to the white meat!

And that's all I gotta say!

Iraq: Are We Making a Difference or Making it Worse?

I read this article on CNN last week and it really struck me as it described the horrible conditions and situations going on in Iraq right now and it really got me thinking, with all this their describing, are we, the US really making a difference over there? Are we actually helping instead of hindering their growth? Are we making things worse? When the US finally does pull out of Iraq, will they be better off and will they be able to sustain whatever good we've done, if any?

Here's a summary of the main points I got from the article:

• 1.6 million Iraqi children are now homeless, some due to parental abandoning out of desperation but more from poor socio-economic conditions and deaths from violence.


• Many families are living in ares without basic necessities such as food and water and there aren't any jobs for provide for these things.


• Iraq's Red Crescent (I'm assuming is their Red Cross) had to close 18 shelters and are trying to house thousands of people in abandoned government buildings for the winter.


• The Iraqi children know more about bombs and explosions than basic reading and writing skills.

Another comment that struck me hard:

The greatest concern is the ripple effect it will have in the long term -- an
entire generation lacking basic life skills, surviving with no education, no
income and no families.

Going by this, it sounds pretty dire over there. I wonder if we're really helping those people or just making things much worse.

The New York Weekend

I finally got my butt up to New York for a getaway weekend with friends and had a great time. The issue was the daggone subway. Seriously, too confusing for me. I depended on my girls to figure out how to get where cause apparently there is 5+ ways to get everywhere and more trains than you can count. But we somehow managed.

The highlight of my touring was the Museum of Sex, which explored attitudes of sex and in the media through the ages. LOVED it!

It's a good thing I saw this sign before I got in cause...

This entire floor was nothing but live porn. I actually got to view some of Deep Throat and was impressed!


The scariest part of the tour and sex is pregnancy and childbirth. And that they've used tools like these to get the baby out.

Then we all went out for a night on the town where I then got tore up and drunk dialed several people.

But wasn't I fly in my new sweater, wrap belt and low rise jeans.

Yeah, had to bring a bit o' Bmore to NY.

Then we went to Harlem and had dinner at the famous Sylvia's Soul Food where we saw none other than Rosanne Arnold and Rosie O'Donnell have dinner with friends. Rosanne walked right by our table!



Had me some fun, spent me some money, at me some food and had a plenty of laughs.

So long, for now, New York. I'll be back someday.

A Word to My Blog Readers

It has come to my attention that there are many of you (that I know) who have been reading my blogs but for whatever reason has chosen not to comment or let me know.

I wanna know damnit!

So I set up a comment box to the right of this blog to leave me a quick note letting me know what you think. You can also leave comments on any blog post, even if you're not a registered member, by clicking anonymous. But you can choose a nickname, drop your name or make up one for all I know. Hell use a name that only you and I would know.
I just want to hear from you. I want your input.

So drop me a line and send me some love.

'Preciate it!

Hugs, kisses and licks.

Kickball Conclusion

So it was a really fun season of playing kickball. WE held our owner on a complete losing streak and went out with a big bang (we dressed up in leftover Halloween costumes and partied like rockstars). The team was fun, I learned where my strengths are (running and kicking, NOT catching) and the post-game partying was on point.

Had my fun!

Halloween 2007 in Fells Point

Halloween 2007 was a ton of fun and me and some friends hit Fells Point for some bar-hopping, drinks and carrying on. It was mad crowded but the costumes looked great and I had fun taking pics. And the Cheekz were out!

Smurfette

Breakfast of Champions

Spartans- These guys were sooo hot. I think a pushed a girlfriend out of the way to get in this pic!

Uhhh, I think this was his costume.

Duff beer for me.

Again, just thought these guys were hot!

The entire Mario Bros. crew.

Can you believe there were two Uma's?

And his stereo was blasting Run DMC.

With Otis, who I mistakenly called Jerome.

Jesus was in the house (and that was a large cross he was carrying).

Blue Man Group

We believe that was Noah's Ark and they stayed together and walked around Fell's like that.

That Saw clown dude with victim (and he pedaled around on a tricycle).

Stacy in a Hat! So cute!

Me and Michael Vick (there were several)

Cat as a can-can girl. So pretty!

Me and some sexy vampire.

I was a girl scout! Anyone want some cookies?

My favorite costume of the night.

Dick in a Box!

Jill's interpretation of Uma ala Pulp Fiction.

Wha ya gonna call?


Can't wait til next year but I'm going to try and be more original with my costume.