Thankful

I'm tired. Woke up at 3am with a mulling headache, barely slept and had to drag my ass into work an hour early. I'm stressed, annoyed, agitated and all I wanna do is crawl back into bed with a kitty cat sleeping next to me.

BUT! I need to take a moment to count my blessings and give my thanks. Cause no matter how crappy things can feel at times, I know there are blessings. I just need to remind myself sometimes.

And 2008 has been wonderful to me. This year, I am grateful for:

• my health- not a sniffle, ache or cough has held me back. I am strong, healthy and able-bodied.


• my new job- its been a struggle at times, but I feel fortunate to have found a job during something I really like, with great pay, benefits and location.


• to be debt-free- felt SO good to pay off my credit card adn Rio-related fees this year and put those cards away. If I don't have the cash, then I don't need it.


• financial security- many aren't so lucky in these times. I'm especially blessed to have the freedom to plan a Hawaiian wedding, look into buying a house and support a family. BONUS: finding out I have excellent credit!


• my adorable kitty cats, that bring me joy and laughter everyday.


• fun and supportive friends- who else would I get my drank on with, swivel my hips on the dancefloor with or talk some ish with. 3 years ago, I barely had a social life, now I have a great circle of friends and comrades, including my bestest homegirl, Rebecca.


• finally finding an easy and cute hairstyle that suits me instead of trying to make my locks do something they can't.


• my family, who has become more supportive and encouraging of me over the last few years.


• my fiance, who has quickly become more to me than just a lover and a companion but also a best friend.


• and lastly for my father, ALWAYS, for showing me the love, support and guidance that will stay with me for a lifetime. Though its been nearly 5 years since his passing, never have I forgotten his advice, his words, his thoughts, his essence. His presence in my life for 25 years has remained one of my biggest blessings.

The Dream of Homeownership

So I made the decision over the summer to explore the very real possibility of buying my own home within the year since I feel more than ready but also because housing prices are at their lowest and its seems like a great opportunity for me. But being ready and eager and finding something you love and within your price range is already proving to be a real challenge. And I'm not even that picky, I think my wants are simple. I just need:

1. an easy commute- or specifically nothing worse than my commute to work right now which is 25-40 minutes (depending on season and time of year). I'm lucky right now cause I'm close to the metro and I take 83 down which has been pretty easy lately (usually under 30 mins.)



2. 2-3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths- obviously, I'm not looking for another bachelorette pad but a place I can raise a family or bring my first child (which is NOT on the way) home to. I'm looking for someplace I can comfortable be in for the next 5 +years.



3. Family-oriented community- piggy-banking off #2, it has to be an area I'm comfortable raising a child in, that means good schools (which are hard to come by in the city). I don't want to be near the bar scene, high crime, high traffic or noise. I want to be able to sleep soundly at night without honking horns and people constantly coming in and out.



4. multiple-levels- I need more than a single story, to accomodate myself + 1 and all the damn pets and kids we may (will) acquire.

Pretty simple right? So what are the obstacles?

• finding all this within my limited price range. I refuse to become a foreclosure story so I'm choosing to buy beneath my means. But naturally that makes it that much harder to find.


• finding it within a time span in which I won't have to break my lease (I got a wedding to plan now)


• finding one with my price range that isn't a total shithole.

Add to that all the contradicting advice I've been getting: its a bad time to buy... its a good time to buy...you should get a condo...you should get a townhouse... you should rent for 2 more years, renting a house during this foreclosure season is a mess, etc.

It's enough to make my head spin. Luckily however, I feel I know what is best for me in my life right now. At nearly 31 years old, I don't see much reason to put this off for more years and especially since I plan on starting a family. I just need to get there. And I'm ready. I am pre-approved, have the 10-15% down payment, the income and the extra cash for renovations. I'll get there.

I just need to hang in there, keep saving and keep doing all my research,

The Perpetually Single Girl is Off the Market?

Indeed. And with all the hints that were dropped leading up to it, I was still very much shocked.

Here's the short version. Saturday night (or Sunday morning 11/2, one year and one month from our frist date) midnight, I'm lounging around in my South Beach booty shorts and dingy Bailey's tee covered in cat hair, not caring that my man is on the way cause its going on midnight and he's about a hour later than I'd like him to be. I got an attitude. I was hoping we could spend more time together before I got tired and here it was, not going to happen. I opened the door for him and didn't even greet him with a kiss. I was equally cold as I sucked down the bottle of port he brought over and inhaled the cheese we began to eat and he cooly made conversation. Being the occasional brat I can be, I wasn't enthused.

We're lying lazily on the couch watching SNL when he makes a comment about how so many people are getting engaged these days. I scoff it off. Who cares? That's me, right? He then asks me to look in his night bag for a green peice of paper and read it. I'm like why? right now? Can you get it for me? No, he insists. I have to get it and read it myself. I pick my lazy ass up and get the paper and flop back on the couch. I open it and read the first line.... Dear Mr. (my last name). He stops me and tells me to read the front to see who its addressed to. The letter is addressed to my father, who passed in 2004.

I turn it over where my boyfriend has written an eloquent and sincere handwritten letter to my father, beginning with that though they haven't met, one of the things they share in common is a love for me. He mentions briefly how we met the year prior and what an "amazing woman" he's raised. He then goes on to write about how he promises to show me unconditional love, to protect and watch over "his little girl" and how he promises to be a "wonderful husband" to me.

He closed the letter by asking my father permission for my hand in marriage. When I put down the letter, there was a ring box in front of me. My mind isn't processing what is in front of me. He'd said many, many times that he wanted to marry me but I couldn't get that this was it, this is him proposing. He then said something very sweet and asked would I marry him and my response:

OMG! Are you serious??? What? Are you crazy? No, for real? OMG! Are you serious! You're crazy! What!

I honestly just had it in my mind that this moment was years away (if ever) and that it wasn't happening now. I could not believe any of it. But he assured me that this was the real deal and happening right now. And of course, I said yes!

And it seriously took all night and most of the next day to hit me. I'd been single for so long and had grown so jaded that I simply stopped dreaming of finding love and wouldn't allow myself to fantasize about such things cause I never wanted to get my hopes up again. I'd long already accepted that love and marriage may not happen so much that I couldn't believe the proposal even when it was happening. But he made me a believer. Before our very first date, he told me to never lower my expectations and to always expect the best; aim high. He taught me that I didn't deserve anything less.

So what now? Wedding? Marriage? Honeymoon? In-laws? I can't even believe those words even apply to me, the once perpetually single girl and yet here I am talking about a destination wedding, with a rockk onmy finger and an adorably, loving fiance. Fiance, I can barely believe it!

And I feel like the luckiest girl around. And I know that my father would approve because I am soooo happy!

Yes, yes, YES!

Really? Is there anything else left to say? I nearly kept my eyes closed this whole election cause I just didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed again. But yesterday when I stood in line to cast my vote to Obama/Biden, I couldn't help but allow that glimmer of hope at the possibility of a
BIG FAT WIN!!!!!!!

So what's next? Let's CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!
And through 2009!!
Wooo-hooooo!!!!!

Final Word on This Election

I know I said I was sick of it and was ready for it to be over. And I am. But I woke up at 5:30am this morning despite having a nasty head cold and feeling muggy from Thera-Flu cause I began thinking of getting out early to hit the polls. And even though I had been sick the night before and even had a second thought about going out at all today, I felt this immense sense of pride and excitement when I pulled up at my voting place at 7:15am and saw a line all the way down the block. I felt so proud of my community for coming out for this.

Even funnier was when I got in line, round the corner, I began to feel overwhelmed, near tearing up at the prospect of Barack Obama being the first African American president. I never really thought this would happen and this soon and the excitement I felt made me feel very emotional.

And so I stood for an hour and a half with all the other folks, who couldn't wait to cast their votes and I put mine in.

I walked out at 9am and late for work but feeling really good.

We just have to win this one! We have to.

Obama all the way, baby!!!

Halloween Hangover

The next morning checklist:

• sleeping til noon- Check!
• finally getting up and walking like a cripple from dropping it like its hot- Check!
• dizzyness- Check!
• light-headedness- Check!
• not remembering highlights like getting on stage and cooing my theme song to a crowd of onlookers-Check!
• waking up with eyelash glue all over my face- Check!
• finding my wash cloth with pink makeup smeared all over it- Check!
• realizing that I peed in front of 3 other women- Check!
• waking up to a fantabulous guy who thought I was the fucking hotness the night before- Check!
  

Have to say it was a really good Halloween! My girls came up with the fabulous idea of going as the '80s cartoon band, Jem and the Holograms (cause we're truly, truly, truly outragous). I was Jem, my girl Cat was Shana and Morgan, Aja (sadly, we had no Kimber). And though we were a bit worried we'd look like drag queens or hookers, we were recognized by quite a few although while on stage for a costume contest, we were playfully referred to as Lil Kim and the Holograms and Jem and the Juicy Booties! Whatever, cause we rocked it! And Halloween is fast becoming one of my favorite holidays.

I Am Over This Election

I made my decision 4 months ago. I don't want to hear another word about Obama, McCain or Palin (we don't hear about Biden anymore). I am over it.

I'm sick of the ads.

I'm sick of the news coverage.

I'm sick of the debates, discussions, the updates, the mud-slinging.

I am sick of all of it. I just want it to be over.

Period!

My New Blog!

I am SOOOOO excited about my new blog I just created over the past several days since it will be devoted to my biggest passion; music! Posts will cover all things music-related and I think it should be a lot more fun to read. I'll still have this one however, so don't go deleting the link just yet.

So bookmark today! Check it out, read it, comment, e-mail to a friend, subscribe and join in the convo at Music Is My Religion.

Hallelujah!!

Shocking Video of the Moment

My cousin just sent this video to me and I was so APPALLED! First I was expecting to see something really status quo like older kids or teens doing something kids do, but this...this is so horrendously sad.



I don't know the real story behind this but I would surely hope someone intervenes here before that little girl ends up knocked up at 12 or 13. AND that little boy grows up with a overtly sexualized view of black girls.

Everything is wrong with this.

Where Were You When...2

...when this song was a major hit on the airwaves:



I can tell you, this song alone played a huge part in awakening me sexually. I heard this and I knew (or thought) I was grown and I was ready. Naturally, I was neither but you couldn't have told my hot butt nothing back in those days.

I was 13, it was 1991 and I thought Bryan Abrams was the FINEST white man I'd ever seen and even girlfriends who didn't even look at white guys then were going DAYYYY-YUMMM!

I got the tape and wore it out thinking about having a man as fine as him. Sadly, Color Me Badd didn't last and last I saw, Bryan aint so fine anymore. Oh well.

That was still my JAM!

Favorite Commercial of the Moment

This is my favorite commercial right now.

I can totally see myself years down the line, toting around a bunch of kids/teenagers and singing along thinking I'm still hip and cool and one my crumb-snatchers letting my ass know, that I'm not.

Chicks I'd Go Lez For

Why not? I have no shame in admitting that there are a couple women out there that make some women go DAYYY-YUMM and question their orientation!

Kim Kardashian

This woman is SICK! Her body is just RIDICULOUS! The hair, the lips, the booty, she is like the definition of stacked in my opinion. Forget doing her. I'd wanna BE her!

Angelina Jolie

Easy answer? Maybe, but you have to admit, she's pretty masculine. She's almost like a man in a crazy-ridic woman's suit. I mean her lips alone are bananas.

Beyonce

Is any comment needed? Really?

Sorry!

Yeah, sorry I haven't blogged in a bit, life just got kinda busy,

boring,

uninspiring,

crazy,

stressful,

insane,

scary,

stomach-turning,

blaze,

self-centered,

productive,

voyeuristic,

annoying,

gassy,

and a bit exhausting.

I promise to blog more when I have more than something completely wack to say.

Where were you when...

...this Chubb Rock song came out:



The year was 1990, I was 12, in the 7th grade at Fallstaff Middle School and I lived and breathed to watch what was called The Jukebox Network where you could order videos to play for around 99 cents.

I knew pretty much every video in rotation and for most, the dance they did in it. I was just beginning to like boys (amongst other things), desperately wanted a pair of Major Damage or Used jeans and would beg my older sister to buy me a new pair of high-top Reeboks every holiday so I could appear to have several pairs (didn't always work).

In big glassses, side ponytails, and 2 extra thick pairs of slouch socks, I wasn't popular, but cool among the cooler kids and never shy to jump on the dance floor to show what moves I'd learned at the school's socials.

I played flute in the school band, subscribed to Teen magazine and couldn't wait to be a teenager and begin going on dates just like in the magazine.

Where were you?

Kitty Kitchen Makeover

Proof that I'm obsessed with HGTV I felt the need to update my kitties food area from this:

to this:

At least someone around here has some stainless steel. Me? One day.

Happy Birthday Muffin and Pumpkin!

Mama is working

Uhh, Cammie Cams... if you see me at my desk, full of papers and notebooks and pads and writing...


...this is not a good place for you to sit at this time. This means mama is working...

And even if I leave to go to the bathroom, that does not mean I and done what I am doing or that the desk if now free...

...for you to try and take a nap.

If you are that tired, there is a couch and recliner not but 5 feet away. Muffin, can further direct you.

I appreciate your assistance in getting off my desk.

Things I'm Hooked on at the Moment

Coffee-flavored alcoholic drinks

Ever since I've had my first taste of Van Gogh vodka, I have been hooked. I mean hooked. Being a coffee person, I have a hard time enjoying many of mixed drinks and these have been my staple lately. Mix a with a lil milk or Baileys and I'm a happy ass girl!

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Don't know what it is about this lil show but if its on, I park myself right where I am (which is usually in bed) and get comfy. Maybe cause I'm looking at family life as my next life step and am curious how to manage parenthood, marriage and running a household? Maybe its cause those kids are so darned cute or maybe cause its simple, doesn't require much thinking or stimulation and that's what I prefer right before bed. Either way, love them!

HGTV/Houses

I confess, I'm obsessed. I cannot stop watching HGTV and all their design, flipping houses , selling houses and everything houses shows. Probably cause I"m seriously considering buying my own next year and I'm just itching to do some major decorating and making a place mine but I'm hooked on all these shows.

Facebook

Yeah, I'm late. But since Myspace fell off, I started going there and find the interface and applications helpful in knowing what the hell is going on with everybody else. Who needs to call people anymore, I can read their update, visit their page, check out the new photo album and get news feeds on what comments were said. It's like a regular newscast of what's going on. Brilliant.

Gmail

Hotmail is so played. I can't sit at my computer now without having my Gmail acount open. There is just something glorious about an email system where new emails pop out without refreshing or logging into a messagine system like AOL or Trillian. Oh the joys of seeing Gmail Inbox (1), or (3) or (10). I'm on it!

Jennifer Aniston: It's Gotta Suck

I have mentioned this to friends before but whenever I see glowing pics of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie cuddling their precious newborns or globetrotting through Africa and France with a slew of adorable multi-racial kids, or just walking hand in hand, suited up for a movie premiere, I can't help but to think, its got the suck for Jennifer Aniston.

Let's see

1) She had Brad Pitt, one of Hollywood's hottest leading actors (and hot asses for awhile, stole my heart in Thelma & Louise).

2) Then lost him either due to Angelina (the hottest chick on earth and on my would-go-lez-for list) OR due to the fact that she either couldn't or wouldn't start a family with him.

3) Another reason she may has lost Brad was due to her wanting to further her movie career, which for me, has been dismal at best. I can't really name one movie she's done that was worth giving priority to over birthing Brad Pitt's babies.

4) Then of course, now pushing 40 hard (or there, I'm not sure) and she doesn't seem to be able to find a suitable new guy in her life ie. breakups with Vince Vaughn and now John Mayer. How the hell does John Mayer dump Jennifer Aniston? How does that happen??

5) Also, if she wanted to put career over family, it must be a huge slap in the face to see Angelina not only birth and adopt babies everywhere but still drop movies on the regular. In fact, I just read that after dropping the twins, she's slated to replace Tom Cruise in an upcoming feature. Her career apparently hasn't suffered much.

6) And finally, it has got to put knots in her stomach to see their happy faces splashed over the covers of every magazine together, sharing a spot where she and Brad used to share.

So I feel for Jennifer Aniston. I really do.

I will no longer complain about my breasts again...

...after hearing the news of Christina Applegate's breast cancer diagnosis and then hearing that she just had a double mastectomy. Because cancer does not seem to discriminate at all and I know of my own personal cancer risks.

So no more. I'm going to be thankful for the healthy, vital breasts that I have and hope that I may continue to always have them.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx/?news=327421&GT1=28103

Sometimes you just need a wake-up call to bring you back to perspective.

Long live my big 'ol breastisis!

Dear Towson University...

I know its been awhile since we've spoken and I haven't exactly been keeping in contact and all but there is really good reason: I need to end this relationship.

See, its been 7 years now. I got what I wanted: a degree. And you got what you wanted; my tuition dollars. How about we end this charade you call "alumni relations" and face my reality: I really have any use for you anymore. I've moved on. I actually went on to grad school so your not even the last school I've attended.

While I realize that alumni donations funds yada, yada, yada, truth is I need my hard-earned funds more than I need to give it to you. As of yet, I still do not have a state-of-the-art, well ANYTHING, a swimming pool, stadium, parking garages or a weekly newspaper (which is why I blog for free). So you see, I just can't and really have no desire to give anymore. And those alumni functions you have, really serve no benefit for me.

It's over. I'm sure you'll understand.

Best of luck,

TGFPH

(proud graduate of the class of 2001)