Ick! Dumb Fuckery on Myspace

I have bitched about this on my defunct Myspace blog and now I'm going to bitch about it here.

I seriously can't get over the riff raff trash that writes me on there trying to befriend me with their lame-ass lines, ghetto-tastic profiles and just nasty, senseless messages. I would just make my profile private but I don't want to close the door on potentials that actually have some sense and I have met some really cool peeps on there.

So I'm going to air out my greivances right here and now and hope they all read it cause they know who they are.

If you are on Myspace and:

• you are 40 years old, you are too old to be browsing profiles on Myspace.


• you write me using broken English, ebonics and other hood colloquialisms, your messages will be automatically deleted. Turn ons for me are complete thoughts, sentences and proper punctuation.


• you send me a vague hello without a picture and an incomplete profile, I will not write back. Why should I take the time to write a nameless, faceless, interest-less, anonymous person with no background info? Why should I care?


• your profile is rank with big booty girls and half naked chicks, I DON'T want to be associated with you nor do I want to know anything more about you. And never will I want to be added to your collection.


• you call me "ma", "sweetie", "baby", "boo" or "cutie", the message will be trashed. You don't know me and I don't appreciate being acknowledged like that. It's young. Grow up!


• you claim to make over $100k, while being pictured standing in front of a Hyundai (or Kia or Chevy or Dodge). I'm not some 19 year old looking for a sugar Daddy, I don't believe a word of it AND I couldn't care less. Unimpressed.


• you have nothing but poor pictures of yourself using your cell phone camera (which takes awful pics). They look horrible. Make you look uglier and does not sweeten the deal to get to know you. WORSE is if these pics are taken in the bathroom with no shirt on. I have NEVER seen a guy (muscle-bound or not) look good this way. It makes you look cheap, silly, dirty and trifling. Invest in a digital camera and recruit a good friend to snap some decent shots. Put effort into how you present yourself, especially to strangers.


• you write me vividly describing what you want to do to me sexually, you will be BLOCKED and I will never accept a message from you again. If you believe this is appropriate or appealing you obviously dont know me and NEVER WILL!


• you write me to try and hook up with one of my friends, FUCK OFF! And yes, I will warn them in advance about you.


• your profile covers the gamut of pimp and gangsta imagery; butt naked booty skanks, money, rims, pimped-out cars, loud, southern rap music blaring and the like, we're not going to have anything in common. Don't expect a response.

• you fancy yourself as a novice photographer, videographer, writer, producer, director or manager and your profile and/or work looks like shit, I won't want to work with you.


• you send me unsolicited photos or your penis or other body parts, I will save it to my computer and submit the pics to various websites all other the net. You'll get your 15 minutes of fame.

That should cover it for now. I'm sure I'll be updating this list when needed.