Should old acquaintance be forgot...

...and never brought to mind?

That song always makes me feel a bit sad.

But here it is New Years Eve and like every year I am left pondering; the good, the bed, the life lessons, the new friends, experiences and journeys and what I can do to make the next year better.

This year started off well and ended kinda rocky but while there were some trying times, some wonderful things happened too, including going to Rio de Janeiro and witnessing Carnival, finally see LA, having all kinds of new fun and finally getting engaged.

Resolutions? I'm not making a long list this time but the main things are to make teh most of this year, to pursue new opportunies, move up into better and to of course to get married.

I think it'll be an interesting year.

So long 2008! Hello 2009!

Some Favorite Movie Quotes

Forrest Gump

Lt. Dan Taylor: Have you found Jesus yet Gump?

Forrest: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him sir.



Boogie Nights

Floyd Gandolli: I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy.



When Harry Met Sally

Harry: I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.



The Color Purple-I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I'm here, I'm here!



Heathers-

1) Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

2) Grow up Heather, bulemia is so '87.

3) Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?!



The Opposite of Sex-

1) Matt Mateo: I'm bisexual.

Lucia: Puh-lease! I went to a bar mitzvah once. That doesn't make me Jewish.

2) If I save one kid from getting butt-fucked, from having his ass totally reamed until it looks like the Lincoln Tunnel and he can't stand up for three weeks, then maybe all of this is worth... something. Teachers everywhere have to learn that no means no... at least until we've dropped out.



Rocky Horror Picture Show-

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.



Willy Wonka & The Chocolat Factory-

So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.



O Brother Where Art Thou-

Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.

Pete: You didn't know that at the time.

Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.

Pete: That don't make no sense!

Stress/Porn

This just in: I am so unbelievably stressed at my job right now, I am actually considering a full-time career in hardcore porn.



My chosen porn name: Chianti Biggins!

If I'm gonna wok my ass off, I might as well, earn the cash for it.

Thankful

I'm tired. Woke up at 3am with a mulling headache, barely slept and had to drag my ass into work an hour early. I'm stressed, annoyed, agitated and all I wanna do is crawl back into bed with a kitty cat sleeping next to me.

BUT! I need to take a moment to count my blessings and give my thanks. Cause no matter how crappy things can feel at times, I know there are blessings. I just need to remind myself sometimes.

And 2008 has been wonderful to me. This year, I am grateful for:

• my health- not a sniffle, ache or cough has held me back. I am strong, healthy and able-bodied.


• my new job- its been a struggle at times, but I feel fortunate to have found a job during something I really like, with great pay, benefits and location.


• to be debt-free- felt SO good to pay off my credit card adn Rio-related fees this year and put those cards away. If I don't have the cash, then I don't need it.


• financial security- many aren't so lucky in these times. I'm especially blessed to have the freedom to plan a Hawaiian wedding, look into buying a house and support a family. BONUS: finding out I have excellent credit!


• my adorable kitty cats, that bring me joy and laughter everyday.


• fun and supportive friends- who else would I get my drank on with, swivel my hips on the dancefloor with or talk some ish with. 3 years ago, I barely had a social life, now I have a great circle of friends and comrades, including my bestest homegirl, Rebecca.


• finally finding an easy and cute hairstyle that suits me instead of trying to make my locks do something they can't.


• my family, who has become more supportive and encouraging of me over the last few years.


• my fiance, who has quickly become more to me than just a lover and a companion but also a best friend.


• and lastly for my father, ALWAYS, for showing me the love, support and guidance that will stay with me for a lifetime. Though its been nearly 5 years since his passing, never have I forgotten his advice, his words, his thoughts, his essence. His presence in my life for 25 years has remained one of my biggest blessings.

The Dream of Homeownership

So I made the decision over the summer to explore the very real possibility of buying my own home within the year since I feel more than ready but also because housing prices are at their lowest and its seems like a great opportunity for me. But being ready and eager and finding something you love and within your price range is already proving to be a real challenge. And I'm not even that picky, I think my wants are simple. I just need:

1. an easy commute- or specifically nothing worse than my commute to work right now which is 25-40 minutes (depending on season and time of year). I'm lucky right now cause I'm close to the metro and I take 83 down which has been pretty easy lately (usually under 30 mins.)



2. 2-3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths- obviously, I'm not looking for another bachelorette pad but a place I can raise a family or bring my first child (which is NOT on the way) home to. I'm looking for someplace I can comfortable be in for the next 5 +years.



3. Family-oriented community- piggy-banking off #2, it has to be an area I'm comfortable raising a child in, that means good schools (which are hard to come by in the city). I don't want to be near the bar scene, high crime, high traffic or noise. I want to be able to sleep soundly at night without honking horns and people constantly coming in and out.



4. multiple-levels- I need more than a single story, to accomodate myself + 1 and all the damn pets and kids we may (will) acquire.

Pretty simple right? So what are the obstacles?

• finding all this within my limited price range. I refuse to become a foreclosure story so I'm choosing to buy beneath my means. But naturally that makes it that much harder to find.


• finding it within a time span in which I won't have to break my lease (I got a wedding to plan now)


• finding one with my price range that isn't a total shithole.

Add to that all the contradicting advice I've been getting: its a bad time to buy... its a good time to buy...you should get a condo...you should get a townhouse... you should rent for 2 more years, renting a house during this foreclosure season is a mess, etc.

It's enough to make my head spin. Luckily however, I feel I know what is best for me in my life right now. At nearly 31 years old, I don't see much reason to put this off for more years and especially since I plan on starting a family. I just need to get there. And I'm ready. I am pre-approved, have the 10-15% down payment, the income and the extra cash for renovations. I'll get there.

I just need to hang in there, keep saving and keep doing all my research,

The Perpetually Single Girl is Off the Market?

Indeed. And with all the hints that were dropped leading up to it, I was still very much shocked.

Here's the short version. Saturday night (or Sunday morning 11/2, one year and one month from our frist date) midnight, I'm lounging around in my South Beach booty shorts and dingy Bailey's tee covered in cat hair, not caring that my man is on the way cause its going on midnight and he's about a hour later than I'd like him to be. I got an attitude. I was hoping we could spend more time together before I got tired and here it was, not going to happen. I opened the door for him and didn't even greet him with a kiss. I was equally cold as I sucked down the bottle of port he brought over and inhaled the cheese we began to eat and he cooly made conversation. Being the occasional brat I can be, I wasn't enthused.

We're lying lazily on the couch watching SNL when he makes a comment about how so many people are getting engaged these days. I scoff it off. Who cares? That's me, right? He then asks me to look in his night bag for a green peice of paper and read it. I'm like why? right now? Can you get it for me? No, he insists. I have to get it and read it myself. I pick my lazy ass up and get the paper and flop back on the couch. I open it and read the first line.... Dear Mr. (my last name). He stops me and tells me to read the front to see who its addressed to. The letter is addressed to my father, who passed in 2004.

I turn it over where my boyfriend has written an eloquent and sincere handwritten letter to my father, beginning with that though they haven't met, one of the things they share in common is a love for me. He mentions briefly how we met the year prior and what an "amazing woman" he's raised. He then goes on to write about how he promises to show me unconditional love, to protect and watch over "his little girl" and how he promises to be a "wonderful husband" to me.

He closed the letter by asking my father permission for my hand in marriage. When I put down the letter, there was a ring box in front of me. My mind isn't processing what is in front of me. He'd said many, many times that he wanted to marry me but I couldn't get that this was it, this is him proposing. He then said something very sweet and asked would I marry him and my response:

OMG! Are you serious??? What? Are you crazy? No, for real? OMG! Are you serious! You're crazy! What!

I honestly just had it in my mind that this moment was years away (if ever) and that it wasn't happening now. I could not believe any of it. But he assured me that this was the real deal and happening right now. And of course, I said yes!

And it seriously took all night and most of the next day to hit me. I'd been single for so long and had grown so jaded that I simply stopped dreaming of finding love and wouldn't allow myself to fantasize about such things cause I never wanted to get my hopes up again. I'd long already accepted that love and marriage may not happen so much that I couldn't believe the proposal even when it was happening. But he made me a believer. Before our very first date, he told me to never lower my expectations and to always expect the best; aim high. He taught me that I didn't deserve anything less.

So what now? Wedding? Marriage? Honeymoon? In-laws? I can't even believe those words even apply to me, the once perpetually single girl and yet here I am talking about a destination wedding, with a rockk onmy finger and an adorably, loving fiance. Fiance, I can barely believe it!

And I feel like the luckiest girl around. And I know that my father would approve because I am soooo happy!

Yes, yes, YES!

Really? Is there anything else left to say? I nearly kept my eyes closed this whole election cause I just didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed again. But yesterday when I stood in line to cast my vote to Obama/Biden, I couldn't help but allow that glimmer of hope at the possibility of a
BIG FAT WIN!!!!!!!

So what's next? Let's CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!
And through 2009!!
Wooo-hooooo!!!!!

Final Word on This Election

I know I said I was sick of it and was ready for it to be over. And I am. But I woke up at 5:30am this morning despite having a nasty head cold and feeling muggy from Thera-Flu cause I began thinking of getting out early to hit the polls. And even though I had been sick the night before and even had a second thought about going out at all today, I felt this immense sense of pride and excitement when I pulled up at my voting place at 7:15am and saw a line all the way down the block. I felt so proud of my community for coming out for this.

Even funnier was when I got in line, round the corner, I began to feel overwhelmed, near tearing up at the prospect of Barack Obama being the first African American president. I never really thought this would happen and this soon and the excitement I felt made me feel very emotional.

And so I stood for an hour and a half with all the other folks, who couldn't wait to cast their votes and I put mine in.

I walked out at 9am and late for work but feeling really good.

We just have to win this one! We have to.

Obama all the way, baby!!!

Halloween Hangover

The next morning checklist:

• sleeping til noon- Check!
• finally getting up and walking like a cripple from dropping it like its hot- Check!
• dizzyness- Check!
• light-headedness- Check!
• not remembering highlights like getting on stage and cooing my theme song to a crowd of onlookers-Check!
• waking up with eyelash glue all over my face- Check!
• finding my wash cloth with pink makeup smeared all over it- Check!
• realizing that I peed in front of 3 other women- Check!
• waking up to a fantabulous guy who thought I was the fucking hotness the night before- Check!
  

Have to say it was a really good Halloween! My girls came up with the fabulous idea of going as the '80s cartoon band, Jem and the Holograms (cause we're truly, truly, truly outragous). I was Jem, my girl Cat was Shana and Morgan, Aja (sadly, we had no Kimber). And though we were a bit worried we'd look like drag queens or hookers, we were recognized by quite a few although while on stage for a costume contest, we were playfully referred to as Lil Kim and the Holograms and Jem and the Juicy Booties! Whatever, cause we rocked it! And Halloween is fast becoming one of my favorite holidays.

I Am Over This Election

I made my decision 4 months ago. I don't want to hear another word about Obama, McCain or Palin (we don't hear about Biden anymore). I am over it.

I'm sick of the ads.

I'm sick of the news coverage.

I'm sick of the debates, discussions, the updates, the mud-slinging.

I am sick of all of it. I just want it to be over.

Period!

My New Blog!

I am SOOOOO excited about my new blog I just created over the past several days since it will be devoted to my biggest passion; music! Posts will cover all things music-related and I think it should be a lot more fun to read. I'll still have this one however, so don't go deleting the link just yet.

So bookmark today! Check it out, read it, comment, e-mail to a friend, subscribe and join in the convo at Music Is My Religion.

Hallelujah!!

Shocking Video of the Moment

My cousin just sent this video to me and I was so APPALLED! First I was expecting to see something really status quo like older kids or teens doing something kids do, but this...this is so horrendously sad.



I don't know the real story behind this but I would surely hope someone intervenes here before that little girl ends up knocked up at 12 or 13. AND that little boy grows up with a overtly sexualized view of black girls.

Everything is wrong with this.

Where Were You When...2

...when this song was a major hit on the airwaves:



I can tell you, this song alone played a huge part in awakening me sexually. I heard this and I knew (or thought) I was grown and I was ready. Naturally, I was neither but you couldn't have told my hot butt nothing back in those days.

I was 13, it was 1991 and I thought Bryan Abrams was the FINEST white man I'd ever seen and even girlfriends who didn't even look at white guys then were going DAYYYY-YUMMM!

I got the tape and wore it out thinking about having a man as fine as him. Sadly, Color Me Badd didn't last and last I saw, Bryan aint so fine anymore. Oh well.

That was still my JAM!

Favorite Commercial of the Moment

This is my favorite commercial right now.

I can totally see myself years down the line, toting around a bunch of kids/teenagers and singing along thinking I'm still hip and cool and one my crumb-snatchers letting my ass know, that I'm not.

Chicks I'd Go Lez For

Why not? I have no shame in admitting that there are a couple women out there that make some women go DAYYY-YUMM and question their orientation!

Kim Kardashian

This woman is SICK! Her body is just RIDICULOUS! The hair, the lips, the booty, she is like the definition of stacked in my opinion. Forget doing her. I'd wanna BE her!

Angelina Jolie

Easy answer? Maybe, but you have to admit, she's pretty masculine. She's almost like a man in a crazy-ridic woman's suit. I mean her lips alone are bananas.

Beyonce

Is any comment needed? Really?

Sorry!

Yeah, sorry I haven't blogged in a bit, life just got kinda busy,

boring,

uninspiring,

crazy,

stressful,

insane,

scary,

stomach-turning,

blaze,

self-centered,

productive,

voyeuristic,

annoying,

gassy,

and a bit exhausting.

I promise to blog more when I have more than something completely wack to say.

Where were you when...

...this Chubb Rock song came out:



The year was 1990, I was 12, in the 7th grade at Fallstaff Middle School and I lived and breathed to watch what was called The Jukebox Network where you could order videos to play for around 99 cents.

I knew pretty much every video in rotation and for most, the dance they did in it. I was just beginning to like boys (amongst other things), desperately wanted a pair of Major Damage or Used jeans and would beg my older sister to buy me a new pair of high-top Reeboks every holiday so I could appear to have several pairs (didn't always work).

In big glassses, side ponytails, and 2 extra thick pairs of slouch socks, I wasn't popular, but cool among the cooler kids and never shy to jump on the dance floor to show what moves I'd learned at the school's socials.

I played flute in the school band, subscribed to Teen magazine and couldn't wait to be a teenager and begin going on dates just like in the magazine.

Where were you?

Kitty Kitchen Makeover

Proof that I'm obsessed with HGTV I felt the need to update my kitties food area from this:

to this:

At least someone around here has some stainless steel. Me? One day.

Happy Birthday Muffin and Pumpkin!

Mama is working

Uhh, Cammie Cams... if you see me at my desk, full of papers and notebooks and pads and writing...


...this is not a good place for you to sit at this time. This means mama is working...

And even if I leave to go to the bathroom, that does not mean I and done what I am doing or that the desk if now free...

...for you to try and take a nap.

If you are that tired, there is a couch and recliner not but 5 feet away. Muffin, can further direct you.

I appreciate your assistance in getting off my desk.

Things I'm Hooked on at the Moment

Coffee-flavored alcoholic drinks

Ever since I've had my first taste of Van Gogh vodka, I have been hooked. I mean hooked. Being a coffee person, I have a hard time enjoying many of mixed drinks and these have been my staple lately. Mix a with a lil milk or Baileys and I'm a happy ass girl!

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Don't know what it is about this lil show but if its on, I park myself right where I am (which is usually in bed) and get comfy. Maybe cause I'm looking at family life as my next life step and am curious how to manage parenthood, marriage and running a household? Maybe its cause those kids are so darned cute or maybe cause its simple, doesn't require much thinking or stimulation and that's what I prefer right before bed. Either way, love them!

HGTV/Houses

I confess, I'm obsessed. I cannot stop watching HGTV and all their design, flipping houses , selling houses and everything houses shows. Probably cause I"m seriously considering buying my own next year and I'm just itching to do some major decorating and making a place mine but I'm hooked on all these shows.

Facebook

Yeah, I'm late. But since Myspace fell off, I started going there and find the interface and applications helpful in knowing what the hell is going on with everybody else. Who needs to call people anymore, I can read their update, visit their page, check out the new photo album and get news feeds on what comments were said. It's like a regular newscast of what's going on. Brilliant.

Gmail

Hotmail is so played. I can't sit at my computer now without having my Gmail acount open. There is just something glorious about an email system where new emails pop out without refreshing or logging into a messagine system like AOL or Trillian. Oh the joys of seeing Gmail Inbox (1), or (3) or (10). I'm on it!

Jennifer Aniston: It's Gotta Suck

I have mentioned this to friends before but whenever I see glowing pics of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie cuddling their precious newborns or globetrotting through Africa and France with a slew of adorable multi-racial kids, or just walking hand in hand, suited up for a movie premiere, I can't help but to think, its got the suck for Jennifer Aniston.

Let's see

1) She had Brad Pitt, one of Hollywood's hottest leading actors (and hot asses for awhile, stole my heart in Thelma & Louise).

2) Then lost him either due to Angelina (the hottest chick on earth and on my would-go-lez-for list) OR due to the fact that she either couldn't or wouldn't start a family with him.

3) Another reason she may has lost Brad was due to her wanting to further her movie career, which for me, has been dismal at best. I can't really name one movie she's done that was worth giving priority to over birthing Brad Pitt's babies.

4) Then of course, now pushing 40 hard (or there, I'm not sure) and she doesn't seem to be able to find a suitable new guy in her life ie. breakups with Vince Vaughn and now John Mayer. How the hell does John Mayer dump Jennifer Aniston? How does that happen??

5) Also, if she wanted to put career over family, it must be a huge slap in the face to see Angelina not only birth and adopt babies everywhere but still drop movies on the regular. In fact, I just read that after dropping the twins, she's slated to replace Tom Cruise in an upcoming feature. Her career apparently hasn't suffered much.

6) And finally, it has got to put knots in her stomach to see their happy faces splashed over the covers of every magazine together, sharing a spot where she and Brad used to share.

So I feel for Jennifer Aniston. I really do.

I will no longer complain about my breasts again...

...after hearing the news of Christina Applegate's breast cancer diagnosis and then hearing that she just had a double mastectomy. Because cancer does not seem to discriminate at all and I know of my own personal cancer risks.

So no more. I'm going to be thankful for the healthy, vital breasts that I have and hope that I may continue to always have them.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx/?news=327421&GT1=28103

Sometimes you just need a wake-up call to bring you back to perspective.

Long live my big 'ol breastisis!

Dear Towson University...

I know its been awhile since we've spoken and I haven't exactly been keeping in contact and all but there is really good reason: I need to end this relationship.

See, its been 7 years now. I got what I wanted: a degree. And you got what you wanted; my tuition dollars. How about we end this charade you call "alumni relations" and face my reality: I really have any use for you anymore. I've moved on. I actually went on to grad school so your not even the last school I've attended.

While I realize that alumni donations funds yada, yada, yada, truth is I need my hard-earned funds more than I need to give it to you. As of yet, I still do not have a state-of-the-art, well ANYTHING, a swimming pool, stadium, parking garages or a weekly newspaper (which is why I blog for free). So you see, I just can't and really have no desire to give anymore. And those alumni functions you have, really serve no benefit for me.

It's over. I'm sure you'll understand.

Best of luck,

TGFPH

(proud graduate of the class of 2001)

Celebrity Moms: Our New Faux Heroes

I am tired of seeing these new-mom celebrities and their newborns on the covers of magazine recycling the same ol tired retort about how motherhood 'changed their life', how motherhood is so 'wonderful', or how courageous or honorable these mags make it seem like. Like we're suppose to worship them cause they gave birth. It is just so played. And every month, its a new celebrity mom, in a glammed out photo spread cuddling her lil bald-headed, wrinkled offspring. They are heroes or saviors or saints cause they had a child.

Not to mention these people are millionaires and can hire all the help they need. I bet you motherhood is pretty sweet when you can hire the best help while you review your latest script, record your next album, plan your world tour and get in 2 hours daily with your personal trainer. I feel like the mags want us to admire them and their faux strength.

Who the hell cares?

I'd have more admiration for a real mom, with a real job raising healthy kids in real life. That takes strength, guts, determination and a strong head on your shoulders.

And I think this OK spread on Jamie Lynn Spears sets a bad example for teenage pregnancies.

*eyeroll*

Death Is Not A Better Place

The recent news that a friends' father had passed away got me thinking about how some of the religious or goo-intentioned, I should also add have a tendency to try and make you feel better by saying that the deceased has gone on to a better place.

Always disappointing.

While I try my best not to get angry when someone says this (and luckily I don't think anyone said it to me when my father died) it is a bit disappointing to me because it feels like a cliched response, as well as, one that plainly gives me no comfort.

He's in a better place.

Looking at the situation realistically and using my father's death as an example, why would he be in a better place, in death? Even if you believe in an afterlife, which neither he nor I do, there is still a vast amount of uncertainty in where you actually go after death so how can you really believe that that unknown abyss is better? You know what life has to offer, at least I do. But what does death have to offer? My honest opinion: nothing and a great nothingness.

The other argument here is for an ailing person or one who died of a terminal illness, as my father did. I guess death and the end of their pain would still be a better option, right? Again, still gives me no comfort. Because I know in my heart that if given the choice between life and its possibilities and potentials and death and its unknown uncertainty, I would always choose life along with a clean bill of health. I honestly, truly believe there is nothing more precious than life.

And if given a choice I know my father would have chosen life, with me, in good health of course.

For that, ultimately, would be his heaven.

Right to Bear Arms?

After reading this article the other week about the Supreme Court's decision to overthrow DC's ban on handguns in favor of the Second Amendment, it got me thinking, why do we have a right to bear arms; to have guns?

Yeah, the Second Amendment states that we as individuals have a right to have weapons, I'm guessing to "defend" ourselves if need be. But in 2008, with all the gun violence we're accustomed to these days, is an amendment which was drafted in 1791 still applicable today? I mean, let's be real, people of yesteryear weren't always as civilized and forward thinking as we are (should be) today. Lynching used to be legal. I mean the world was a highly different place back then than it is now and I don't really see where this right to bear arms has really, truly benefited us.

And has it? Do guns really protect you from anything? I've always felt it doesn't. Guns, in my opinion serve one purpose and that is to kill. Owning a gun, to me, means you are ready to shoot someone. They don't defend anything, they simple injure and take lives away. Believing this is so, I have to wonder why we would decide that we need this right to being with?

I'm also of the just-cause-it-was-written-centuries-ago-by-presumably-wise-men,-don't-make-the-word-bond-or-absolute-truth mind frame. I mean, people did used to think the earth was flat until it was proven otherwise.

Perhaps, this amendment is a bit archaic. I personally believe that outside of official officers and military NO ONE should be allowed guns.

But We The People say different.

*sigh*

My Musical Debut

It was that time again, time for the 48-Hour Film Project in Bmore for 2008 and I jumped at the chance to do it again but imagine my surprise and shock when we drew a musical.

For those not in the know the 48-hour Film Project is a film competition where you have to write, shoot, edit and submit a 7 minute film within 48 hours. You are given the genre, a character a prop and a line and you have to go with it. This is my 3rd one. And once again, lots of fun.

Be gentle, for a chick whose been terrified of singing in public since childhood, this was pretty daring of me but it felt good to push myself to do something I never thought I could do. It was great working with the crew at Garbled Jargon films and it was shot all in ONE take!



And since I think I look like a short Treasure Troll, I won't be watching it again anytime soon. Enjoy!

Is Myspace Dead?

Seems like 2-3 years ago Myspace was the fucking spot to be. The highlight of my mundane work day was goofing off on Myspace looking at my friend goofy new pics, leaving random and silly comments on their pages, reading blogs, watching videos, chit-chatting with new peeps and potentials and secretly spying on people.

What happened to that? Oh, that's right, life moved on, things got stale and it fell out of the loop.

Moreover, the Myspace craze died in my eyes. And I'm sure its still alive for some; the teenagers whose lives revolve around their "who's who" social lives, artists, club promoters and those looking to expand their businesses there but for anyone who found it hot a few eyes, it seems the era is over. It just aint the same.

So what happened? My guess: people grew up. While it was really fun to peruse profiles like an online predator, life has gotten more complex and I'm finding my friends, as well as myself have just moved on to bigger endeavors; engagements, marriages, kids, even higher education, serious relationships, travel, pursuits etc. And the antics that used to be so much fun before seem, well, a bit juvenile now. And I also can't forget how extremely sloppy and tacky Myspace eventually got.

Everyday, my inbox was clogged with unsolicited friend requests from people I've never heard of and messages from the nasiest, most repulsive slew of men, not to mention the "please check out my music" artist requests and invites to groups you have no interest in. In became downright annoying and sleazy. Then came Facebook, which opened its doors to post-college folk and offered a simpler, cleaner alternative to social networking and in my mind, Myspace died off.

But I do still have a profile there that I'm not quite ready to delete since it acts as a live scrapbook of fun times gone by. As well as people I used to kinda, sorta know. Fun while it lasted but I'm guessing Myspace will be one another one of those things I'll reminisce with friends about in nostalgic "back in the day" talk.

Talking About People Behind Their Backs

I have a few thoughts on the issue of talking about people behind their backs. I belong and have belonged to several social groups and as usual there are always going to be instances where certain people have gotten together to discuss someone else. And there is always someone concerned that this is wrong or an act of betrayal on the people in discussion.

I truly don't believe it is, nor do I believe there is anything wrong with it and here's why. I have always believed that as people, we all have the right to discuss whatever we want, especially in private company. And that includes other people. The issue comes in, understandably in the hurt feelings that can occur when the person of discussion finds out that they have been talked about. And while those discussions might not always be favorable, people can talk about whatever they want. And it can be about other people and those people do not have to be included on that discussion.

Everybody has thoughts, feelings and attitudes on a subjects and sometimes, its other people. To me, there is no harm in this. The only harm, to me is when the discussion is purposely malicious or when the information, which usually starts out as private gets back to the person in question. Then it is harmful. I feel that the perpetrator here is not the one talking but the one who ran and told the person in question.

That being said, I am a person with many thoughts, feelings and ideas about many things and am not too thrilled to bite my tongue or keep it to myself, so I speak freely. It's never (usually) malicious or hurtful and I keep it private but I feel I am within my rights to do so. And so is everybody else. About me.

Don't want anybody talking about you? Get over it!

Or feel flattered that you're doing something interesting enough to be on someone else's mind and a topic of their conversation.

Sex in the City Movie: My Review

Ok, just saw this movie yesterday and I'm coming in late with my thoughts.

**WARNING: SPOILER ALERT, DON'T READ IF YOU HAVENT' WATCHED IT YET**

First, loved it! Great movie. Got really excited just watching the opening credits. The ladies looked so fabulous and through the whole thing, I just wanted to go shopping so bad. Ok, now to the point: the ending. I didn't find it emotional at all and was kinda surprised that I didn't though everyone else claimed they did. The whole ending with Carrie taking Big back to me was a bit shocking. Shocking because a man that would leave me stranded at the alter, unable to even get out of the car and with no explanation besides "I just can't do this" is a man, I would NEVER SPEAK TO AGAIN! That high level of uncertainly smacks of not loving me enough and I couldn't spend my days feeling secure with that. Even if he got enough balls to try it a 2nd time. I honestly don't envy Carrie and I think she's got a long road with Big/John.

I was also disappointed that in trying to contact Carrie, Big chose to re-type poems from other authors than to express his own feelings. That was lame and wouldn't have garnered much sympathy from me. I mean Carrie is a professional writer, how wack to simply cut-n-paste someone else's words?!I thought Kim Cattrall looked fab at 50 and Cynthia Nixon hot in her nude sex scene. I hope I'm rocking it as well at 40 and 50+. But Sarah J Parker, I'm convinced is starving herself. She is so unnaturally, unflatteringly thin, it concerned me. There were scenes were she lifted up her arm and all you saw was bone with a mere slice of muscle hanging on.

I also applaud this movie for focusing on women 40-50 years old having sex. I think Hollywood tends to shy away from storylines of older women still getting theirs but one completely embraces it. But on the real, watching Kim Cattrall's Samantha, you forget (or not even realize) you're looking at a 50 year old woman.

And I love and support Jennifer Hudson but found her contribution, kinda, uhh, pointless. I mean it felt as though they just really wanted to write a character for her in the movie but there really was no point. It didn't add anything to the movie and she time she spent on screen, I'd rather watch the other 3 main characters. Worse, she ended up getting back with a man that originally told her she wasn't the one. Aren't we forgiving? But that, to me, is unforgivable. Relationship eternally over.

More kudos to the juicy, prominent male nudity of Gilles Marini. Delighted was I by the eye candy and the arousing shot of his hanging manhood (and rock hard ass). I don't care if it were fake or not, its about time we get to see more of men in films. Hell, women have been taking it off for decades. Thank you producers for giving us a nice peek!

Overall, great fun. Now I gotta get shopping!

Happy Father's Day

Hoping I'm still making you proud.

(Some) Men Are so Damn Oblivious III

Here goes another one.

Last Sept, I had while checking my Model Mayhem, profile, I get a message from a guy in New York. He's a model and we email plesantries back and forth a few time. Now I'm just being polite. My thinking being since he's in NY and its a modeling site, not a dating site, what's the harm.

So he writes me every few weeks telling me about his modeling jobs and asking for updates on mine. Harmless pen-pal-ing to me. I'm cordial to anyone who writes me, really.

Oct 2007 goes by and he continues writing and by Nov, he mentions that he'd love to have dinner with me sometime. Uhh......I guess he doesn't realize I have no intention of coming up to NY nor entertaining him coming to Bmore. I them let him know that I"m not interested and that I just entered a new relationship. His response is cool.

Late Nov. he wishes me a Happy Thanksgiving and asks about the holiday. Xmas, the same, though at this point, I'm surprised he's still writing.

Happy New Year was the next message and an inquiry about whether I was still in my relationship. Going strong was my response, but again, I was growing tired of this banter.

February brought a new message with the apology for not writing as much (huh?) and curiousity on how my weekend went. Now my reponses are now down to a one-line "things are going great!". I'm being nice enough (which isn't usualy for me) but not getting why he's still lingering. Mind you his messages are coming about once a month.

March brough another 'How are you doing?" Email. Too busy to entertain him. Forgot about it.

Then April came and again another email to ask what I'm up to. Now, I'm really stumped. I've stopped responding to his messages (cause I plain ol forgot and aren't on that site much lately), I'm taken, we've never met, he's in New York and my responses are brief and succinct, never asking about him, what does he want exactly? Is he waiting out my relationship, hoping for an in? Holding on to a chance? Really, really into being email pals?
What? What is he holding on to?

I just don't understand. Meanwhile, I'm ducking out and not responding anymore. What's the point?

30 and Holding Up Well?

It's always flattering to me when someone thinks I'm much younger than I am. I had a college kid try and hit on me at a Target the other week and his come on line was asking what school I go to and what was my major. Cute! Even better was the look of complete shock that appeared on his face when I told him I'd finished my undergrad in 2001.

And I love pulling out my ID when asked (cause they should, right I could be 19 for all they know) and having a few do a double take to make sure its me.

But there have been a few times lately when I've told people my age and more than being shocked, they were completely stupefied.

Wow! You look sooo good! You don't look at all 30! You look really good!

Now most times its very flattering but a few times I began to wonder, how bad should I look for 30? Should I be wrinkled? Overweight? Gray hairs? Boobs sitting on my stomach? Wearing "Mom" jeans? I mean really, do people not expect 30 to look like me? And why not? If I was hot at 28 and 29, why would I suddenly fall downhill a year later?

Made me think I guess I'm doing a good job preserving myself. Perhaps I should invest in a barrel of formaldehyde to continue giving my skin that lively look!

White Girl Movies

Oh white girl movies. You know the ones. The one where some all-American, Wonder bread white girl... Kristen, Julie, Sarah, Laura or Kelly is facing some obstacle. Her husband or boyfriend left her, she's trying to get ahead in her career, she's got a dream, she wants to dance, write design, find true love, carve her path, reach for her dreams, take your pick and in the end gets exactly what her heart desires and everything is right in the world again.

*cue Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten*

I so hate these movies. Not because they appear to be written specifically for dreamy-eyed white girls who always get their man in the end but because they are so fucking saccharine sweet, so utterly predictable, so lame, squeaky clean cut and chocked full of eyeroll-worthy lines and boring plot lines. But worst than that, are the freaking trailers. I feel like I can sniff them out by now. They start with white girl in question, then reveal her issue, her wacky friends/family and how she's going to solve it and then like clockwork, as if there is a template or guidebook trailer producers have created where they end the trailer with the biggest draw; the empowering white girl music.

*cue Michelle Branch's Everywhere*

This is the part that is suppose to make white girls feel good (and I think it works). The white girl rock hits a pivotal note or climax in the song right as they are revealing the true meaning and motive in the story. And white girls go flocking, in droves to the theaters to see it. This has to be a set formula that studios have tapped into. Not lying, I know I'm not the only whose noticed.

In fact, if I were smart, I'd tap into the market and try and capitalize. All's I gotta do is write a story where cute white girl, let's call her Emily is having a rough time or being denied something she so badly wants. On the way to pursuing this want, she runs into cutie pie white boy, we'll call him Brad. They meet cute and through a series of obstacles end up in love. We'll cast either Kate Hudson, Mandy Moore or Reese Witherspoon as Emily and maybe Patrick Dempsey or Adrian Grenier .Cue something by Avril Lavigne or Vanessa Carlton. And bam! You gotta yourself a million dollar movie!

Don't believe me? Check out the trailers below.